(255) Feeling Positive

It dates back to the earliest memories of my life. Since then, and till date, it has happened numerous times that whenever I become extremely excited and happy about certain things in life, life surprises me with something dissimilar to the flow, something that would hamper my joy and would leave my sad. And then later, I would sulk about sad things rather than rejoicing the good things.

Growing up, I learned that this is how life is. It’s about living with accepting the blend of sorrows and delights. Agreed, and it’s quite fair. But that acceptance only remains till I do not let my feelings overrule my thoughts, to be precise,  the impact remains till my mind has its say over my heart. Once the heart rules the roost, all the practical senses give up. And that is where all the problems and dilemmas arise from.  I start feeling mediocre, less important and hand down about myself.

There is hardly anything that I had wished for and God had not been kind enough to give it to me, as far as it’s about the materialistic achievements. I may feel so also because, these so called worldly materialistic pleasures have never been my priorities or aspirations, no doubts, having them has always helped me live an enhanced and better life and I have always been grateful for it to the almighty. However, I yet at times feel deprived. Why so?..Perhaps, meaning and definition of life to me has always been little different and one of its kind when equated with that of those around me. All I want from life and my people is peace, adore, truthfulness, and an everlasting unsullied wholesome connect with people I care for.

It’s a beautiful feeling to be cared about. I am feeling overwhelmed to have experienced something so touching and gratifying. No relationship has ever remained untouched by the impact of give and take, though it has always been believed that the expectation of the same give and take, most often ruins the very relationship.

Today, my heart is full of thankfulness. And this fullness is so contenting and relieving, that in contrast I feel light like a feather in my heart. I feel really cared and loved. I feel important. And I am more than grateful for the same. May god keep my sanity and equilibrium as it is today. Good night!!