My eyes are burning , back -neck hurting and they all want to lay at rest. I have
pile of dried clothes hanging there to be folded and ironed. Dishes to be done
and I am way behind my cleaning schedule today. Have been running places since
morning. Reached home around 9pm, put kids to bed and wondering where do I start
from to clean up the mess lying all around, as I am a proven OCD person who
cannot bear the filth even for a second. And yet, I am clueless while am I still
lying on the heap of undone chores. Dheeraj will be back tomorrow night from
his official Turkey trip and I hope I put things in place before that.
I guess I have taken too many things at a time on my hand. Music
class, art class, gatherings besides my usual duties and chores and shopping
and kids drops and pickups and attending several other hiccups. I guess I am
overloaded.
I need a break. I need a break from everything I suppose. But,
I know that’s not possible. I wonder at times why do get into the web of
fulfilling duties, expectations, responsibilities, and blah blah activities.
Recently, I came across a statement by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar
G wherein he said that “IF EVERYTHING APPEARS MEANINGLESS THEN CONGRATULATIONS
TO YOU! YOU HAVE STARTED ON THE PATH. THIS IS THE FIRST SIGN OF INTELLIGENCE OF
WAKING UP”. Off lately I often get this feeling that I am done with this usual
routine societal living and all, either I should be called for the holy abode
or I should be given with the understanding of purpose of my life. I hope I find
more meaning to my existence. I guess, it sounds too pessimistic and perhaps I appear
as a loser but believe me it is not thus. I want to do thousand things for my
kids, want to be kind enough to my husband in return to what all he has done
for all of us, do numerous great things for my extended families, my parents,
my siblings, my friends and for the society on whole. I really want to add some
value to the society before I leave. But don’t know why at times, I feel
exhausted and done up with this usual breathing in and out besides the mundane
chores.
Well, with a hope to feel revitalized by tomorrow morning, I
call it a day. Have a blessed life you all..!
Lotsa love…
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