(44)MY DAUGHTER AND MY HAIR

Except for 2-3years in primary school,1 year in college and then ever after, almost all through my life I preserved my bob-cut, sometimes blunt cut hair style.Compliments from friends, classmates, relatives, teachers and room mates kept me confident throughout to continue with the same. I happen to grow my hair till shoulder once during college days and received good compliments for that hairpick as well. Personally I was not very happy with it, owing to reasons like, my own liking, comfort, flaunt which came with it, and uniqueness as hardly any other girl around me had the same hairstyle except for my best friend in school and 2 others in college, who went for same by my influence. But still, I thought there’s no harm in giving it try, also because both my grandmas had started pointing me out to do so in order to get good alliance proposal. Howeverl…I wondered what good my hair would do for such proposal or any other thing for that matter.I continued growing my hair with regular intervals of trimming the length for almost 4-5 years.And then when I was again thinking on terms of getting back to my patent style, Dheeraj came in my life and he liked my hair the way they were. Though he supported me to go ahead with my plans, I decided to postpone it until after few months of marriage. We got married and busy with balancing our professional and personal lives. Sometimes, shampooing-drying and tying long hair really pissed me off those days and my wish to cut my hair became more stronger. Before I could act it upon, I got pregnant with many complications and advised bed-rest, and hence I again laid back my plan of course. According to me, all this while, except for making me look beautiful occasionally, my hair did not really appear any worth to me until my angel was born to me .Ya..my Charvi daurling. Since she was 3 months old, she started pulling my hair and loved playing with it. She would never take feed or sleep without holding them. She has turned two last month, but still she doesn’t go to sleep without putting her hands through my hair, weaving her fingers on my scalp and sometimes rubbing the bunch in middle of both of her hand’s clasp and then putting her hands around my neck. She dislikes my tied hair and whenever she notices me with a clip or band, she will immediately instruct me to let my hair down. Many a times, when am sitting idle, she would come to me and ask me if she can play with my hair. Sounds funny na… I know...but that extreme she loves my hair. She has now started demanding for the same as she demands for a toy. Even during sleeps, if she realizes that I got loose out of her hold, she would shout in her dozed voice, “Mamma, aapke hair dedo”(Mamma, give me your hair)
Since she has come to our life, I never got the idea of acquiring my original hair style.No doubt, I got them trimmed 3-4 times but never thought of making them short.Most touching part about all this was the incident which occurred when I went to London in this month beginning. I missed her little fingers and clumsy hold in my hair every night there, and here she stubbornly insisted to my mother-in-law to get her mamma’s hair for her. My mom-in-law had a tough time to convince Charvi to go to sleep holding her hair. Oh my little darling!! I felt so moved to hear that. Need and value of my grown up hair which I understood during these two years got revised and all the more precious with this event.
This morning, though she was awake,she became adamant not to let me out of the bed as she was playing with my hair while rhyming her songs and enjoying the mood. Idea of writing about it clicked my mind at the same time.But what a coincidence! My sister phoned me this afternoon and told me that it’s a Daughter’s Day today and I should do something for Charvi, take her out, make her enjoy, click her snaps and may be write something about her.Though there are so many other beautiful things to be written about her, I chose to write about the hair episode, it being more close to my heart and clicking to me since morning.

(43)HUMAN NATURE

Human being, they say is the best creation of God .Equipped with the best of brains, undefeated communication skills and of course the ruling power. But, how far has this so called superior creature of nature has done justice to his own self , his co-existences and to HIS creator? Undoubtedly, this endless debatable question halts with either of these outcomes-(1)speckled answers OR (2) clueless opinions leading to more apprehensions, and both depending on the view-point of the people carrying it forward.
I often come across the same question put up by my conscience, but hardly I succeed to pass through it with any satisfactory answer. Reason…whenever I try to analyze the same, I get tangled into many, many more interwoven queries which needs to be resolved first hand to take any step further towards unweaving the former .And amongst those many…one which I always get stucked with, very badly is… HUMAN NATURE..Yes…Human Nature…Again, this is a topic covering a wide range of speculations possibly claiming the highest variation of thought pattern and equally mottled suggested-accepted theories. However, though certainly not claiming to have come to the universal conclusion describing human nature, I can at least, depict the ideas I perceive about the same or rather I learnt over the short span of life I have lived through
Amalgamation of good and bad is one widely seen characteristic in almost each and every creation of the Almighty. And hence is the matter with us, human beings. God resides in all of us and all of us surely exhibit, if not always than at least once in a lifetime, an act of good deed in one or the other way. Hence, accepting it as a proved factor, I am not writing anything in detail about the same. Rather, my emphasis today is on the sad side of the subject in discuss.
I believe, we are the most selfish of every living being. We live according to our own convenience. Leave afar the act of nurturing our other co-existences in nature, we don’t leave any single chance to exterminate fellow human beings for our self benefits.
We strive for something throughout our lives and by endeavors, but when same is achieved, we don’t value it. We either regret about our past or worry about the future and thus waste the precious part of life which is present. This cycle continues, the present moment becomes past soon and again we indulge into the new present moment to lament about the waste we did with the recent past moment, and this never ends until we ourselves see our end. We keep seeking for happiness in all external things, but forget to search in its sources, within ourselves, by our deeds.
We always take immense pride in pointing out others flaws but seldom we take out time to look into ourselves. We always complain but never appreciate. Neither the act of our fellow human beings nor the opportunities life serves us at every possible turn. We don’t bother how our deeds affect others or how hurt other’s feelings can be left owing to our self centric living pattern. Only thing we prefer to do by best is the analysis. Yes, analyzing every action, occurrence, words, situations and does all this purely on the basis of our personal pre-assumptions, experiences, set of rules and expected outcomes. We hardly give a chance to the life to explain its purpose itself. We try and convert every simple thing into most complex form because that’s how we prove our intelligence. We don’t want to understand simple things in life, we don’t want to lead life in simple ways. If we do so, we will never get a feel to judge others. When someone apologizes, we think because he was wrong and I was right, he did so, but we fail to see the higher meaning of that apology which says that because that person loves and values you, your relationship more than his ego, he apologized.
We get obsessed by our own negatives and thus find it in every aspect. We don’t believe in dreams because few didn’t see reality, we hate everyone because few were not good to us, we don’t trust God because he didn’t grant some of our prayers, we loose faith in friends because one of them ditched, we don’t want to be happy because many attempts to do so didn’t succeed, we don’t believe in love because someone we loved didn’t love us, because we didn’t win that one’s love, because someone betrayed, we leave back aim in life because some steps towards it tested us harshly , we underestimate ourselves comparing with others because certain things we were unable to do…..and many more pessimistic reactions we give to life when it comes to test us because that's how we are comfortable, we are convenient, that’s how we can run away from the responsibility of answering very rarely raised integral questions to us by life itself. Why don’t we hold strong?why don’t we live it all to give it all? why don’t we treasure what we have within, our talents?,why don’t we value the immensely precious gift gifted to us in form of life as human beings, the supreme beings?Why? Why? And many more Why?s.
Life can really be more easy, more fun, more exciting, and more fulfilling, if we try and change our attitude.We should try to be honest to ourselves first and then it will surely lead us to be same with others and in every deal of life. We should learn to be more tolerant , helpful, acceptable and our actions should be less negative, less derision, less nitpicking. And then see, how life appears to you.
Life is like a mirror, what one will show, it will reflect. If we feel positive, feel happy, help others, respect others, we will end up gathering all of these in abundant from every folds of life.

(42) SMS

I was hurrying to go to the bank and received one SMS.I quickly read it once and then again read it slowly and then my entire acceleration to move out of the house decreased.I sat down on the bed and read it once again.I thought what happened to this guy, he always forwards either funny messages or some info seeking one, as though, being equally emtional person like me, he still displays a very mature attitude and hardly gives into the ground- silly jokes or sky-senti stuff.But today, this senti-emotinal message from him, he is surely in some different mood.The message was:- "Think about this... U r sittin on d stairs with me at 3 in d midnight on d terrace of ur house....suddenly ur phone rings n u go 2 attend d phone promisin me 2 cm bak but d person on d phone is from my family givin u d creepy news tat i died last night....will u cm back 2 me??...reply with reason..i m waitin" First i thought it is some kind of tricky puzzling question in which answer is something completely out of the question feild and hence i patiently read it again and tried to find some gramatical plot.And though not so sure,i still replied him showing a doubt about the sentence construction and thereby probable hidden twist.My first reply was:-"How can v b at both places at the same time-Stairs and d terrace?....Pat came his response with a clarification which was:-"Sat on the stairs that goes to the terrace"....Alright i thought, and then lost in thoughts for a moment.Take for a second..if this has to be a true situation what i would have really done?And the immediate instinctive answer was-Certainly!! i will go bak!...but then he had asked for a reason as well...Hmm..i again thot, why did my heart said an immediate Yes...Why??Simple..because I love him...oh yes..definetly...its because i love him and he loves me too.So then i send my reply which was:-"In dat case,i'll come bk.Reasons-(1) I love u and i promised i will b bck. and (2) U love me too b'cos even aftr death u came 2 me, did not go to any1 else,hence u need me d most.".....after a pause of a minute..his reply was this"hmmm....Thanks"..well this reply though soundless on my mobile screen, still mirrored the emotions which wud have been reflecting on his face when he wud hv read my answer and thot of this simple but apt response.I could feel his true sense of being owned and protected in those simple words"hmm...Thanks"... I felt he was in a very sensitive mood then and hence i thought of making it light , not by calling him- becasue that wud have perhaps made him speechless then, but by rather replying one more,but funnier sms.And that was:-"Mst wlcm,on d staircase and in d house as wl".

My daurling brother(the elder amongst two)...he has always been so...a kid with a manly exterior..since he was in 9th class, he started helping my father in his business by renedering best possible aid.He always keeps his best calm and really surprises me with so simplified solutions to the most complex confusions...He is known as the god's man in our entire family.And truly he is the one......

GOD BLESS HIM ............Always!!!!!!!

(41) WEIRED FEELING

Something is really bothering
Don’t know what
Very rare, I come across
this kind of blankness
But it is really pestering,
and creating aggravation

Some kind of anxiety
Don’t know what
Or rather invidious feel
making me more covetous
of probably, the unknown
cause and purpose

Sense of being isolated
and somewhat judged-against
is making the flow in mind
I think, a person actually gets more
bothered by his own actions
and hence relative consequences

(40).SIXTH AND SEVENTH DAY

We took an early morning flight to Frankfurt and then the connecting flight to hyderabad.It was beautiful to see earth from such a height.Reached home late midnight,saw Charvi fast asleep,woke her up and hugged her tight.We were awake till almost early morning and then went for a good night sleep.

I must admit,it feels like heaven to be back home,back to the country,back amongst our people.

(39) FIFTH DAY

We left hotel around 11.am after having breakfast.Took a tube to Baker street for Madamme Tussauds.It was a good to see the wax modells of so many celebrities of the world at onc place.We clicked photos with many of them including my favourite Shah-Rukh khan.Amongst other I got clicked with Gandhiji,Indira Gandhi,Hitler(while getting clicked with him, i got a flash of memory crossed my mind about many of my people comapring me to Hitler to tease me,when i get very adamant and dominating),Tom cruise and many more.It was fun.Besides wax modell display,there was a small train tour-display into London's History,A scary house with live ghosts,game zone and a celebrity light show.It was overall fun.

We moved out,had our lunch and then headed to Holbon via Oxford circus to see the British museum.Oh..it is so large,expanded,well maintained museum.They have the historical pieces from all over the world.A must see-collection.

I was damn tired by then and hence decided to get back to the hotel.Had a nice coffee here and now planning to go for a long walk around.We are expecting our another friend-couple to visit us in the evening.

I had loads of fun all these days but i missed Charvi every minute.I am very excited to be back home soon and hug her tight.And i have decided,this had to be the last time(as in my decision perview) i left her home for so many days without me,no more going out without her as though she might have adjusted my absence, i simply cant live without her presence.I am missing her so much...okey..okey..not getting any emotinal further..i hang-up and catch u later.....................

5 hours later.........

hi...our friends came.......late evening..we had a good chat with them and their little daughter.talking that little princess made us more emotional and missed Charvi all the more.

However,now the wait will soon be over.Tomorrow we are leaving for India,i am so happy.Hoping a safe flight and landing,see u back in India.But hey...hold on,hold on..before i end, i would want to thanks on both our behalf to all my three friends/families and bhaia-bhabhi who took out time from their busy schedules and spent with us and gave us the oppurtunity to see more of London with a feel of being home.Thank you so much you all..God Bless.

(38) FOURTH DAY

One thing which kept hovering my mind previous night was the reply and feedback i got from all of my Indian friends.All are happy here,earning pretty good but none wants to get settled here.The common outcry was ...there's no life here,no enjoyment,no social relations and most importantly they dont want their children to be raised up here,they dont want them to inherit this culture.

Dheeraj left early morning to office,i went for breakfast little late.The restro-floor manager was an Indian.He started a conversation with me in Hindi and same thing again,he too commplained about not being so happy and plans to return as soon as he collects a good sum of money.Well...i felt sad for all of them and pretty happy that i am living in the country which is the most fulfilling place, no matter few hardships are to be faced,but then..where in place is life all easy as well?Also..this episode also discouraged my wish to live in UK/US for atleast 5-7 years.

I went for three long walks until evening when Dheeraj came back.From Earls court, i walked towards sout kensington,hamshire and in the streets of earls court itself at different intervals.I shopped a few things, and enjoyed the beautiful roads,buildings and the cold weather.

We left in the evening by tube to Sudbery where our friend couple(who came to see u son second day) were to join us.They took us for a beautiful and memorable drive through London.First, we went to Windsor Castles,though the entry was closed, we enjoyed its well-preserved beauty over years from its exterior only and clicked good snaps.

Then we went to Southall, where majority of Asian community can be seen,especially Indians.We had a good spicy dinner in a Punjabi restaurant and then held on towards central London.Enjoyed a long drive viewing almost everything once again but this time in night with shimmering lights.We went across London eye,st paul's cathedral,tower bridge,all embasy's,Barclays square,westminster abbey ,etc.

Had real good time with friends,we felt back home and thanked them for the wonderful evening they gifted us with.I felt very pleased,especially with the pretty lady who was just like younger sister, i felt so closed to her throughout both our meetings.God bless them.

Had a good night sleep, and now ready for breakfast and then towards London..So see u in the evening.

(37) THIRD DAY IN LONDON

It was a nice experience to roam around all alone.I went to see the The Tower Bridge..went onto the top..learned about its making,saw its enginge room and the best part was the lifitng and lowering down of the bridge which was an amazing sight.Then i met my bhaia an bhabi at south kensignton and after having lunch went to see the national history museum which is a great place to visit.Then i met a friend of mine with whom saw the outer skirts of london like harrow,wembley and many other significfant places.Came back after having a south african vergetreraian cusine.Was a good day on whole.....now lets see what i do today...

(36) CONTINUED....

Cold beautiful morning,indeed!!!!!!!!!!!

Last evening before i left for my walk,i spoke to two of my very old class-friends who are settled in London.It was nice..I spoke to them almost after ten years.And we thought if all of us could meet up one day.

I wore my shoes and jacket but forgot to take my scarf.Oh...it was cold outside..i was feeling freezed but is till kept walking because it felt very pleasant.I received a call from one of those friend couple and they said they are coming to meet us at the hotel within next 45 minutes from Wembley.And so i returned back to the room after getting lost for a while on the streets but found the correct one soon,and awaited their arrival.Soon they were there and we all had a very good chat.It was a good gathering.I simply thought,what a chance, we never met in India for so many years and now we met it was in the country miles away from all of ours motherland.Well...they left late night after giving us the proposal of going to Windsor Castle and Southhall on Tuesday with them if things work out all well.Lets see....cos right now Dheeraj is getting ready for his office and I will see what I can do with this long day in London.Probably ,Bhaia-Bhahbhi who were my online guide first day,come up to meet or maybe the other friend couple show-up today.So,looking forward to meet them all...and expecting an aswell good day ahead.I was also thinking if i could go to national gallery and spent the rest of the day there with the amazing paintings..cya then..

(35) SECOND DAY OUT HERE

Breakfast menu had most items non-veg,hence survived on juice,fruit and a loaf of bread.Started our exploration with the THE ORIGINAL TOUR of London which provides with hop-on/hop-off facility with under roof and open-deck bus allowing one to get down at whichever stop he wants and board another bus which arrives at every 15 minute.We saw almost every spectacular sight of London today.We saw the national gallery which held the huge collection of great paintings by renowned artists including Da Vinci,and opposite to it was the Trafalgar square madly crowded due to some musical concert kindof going on.We also got down at St.Paul's CAthedral which is again a marvel of architecture and which hosted great historical events including Prince Charles and Lady Diana's wedding.I must say, the whole of London is the reflection of intelligent,nonrusting,disciplined, beautiful architecture.

Another stop after crossing the London Bridge was the THE TOWER OF LONDON,main agenda for me to see this place was to eye the kohinoor..this place is so largely spread on hundreds of acres that a whole day would have fall short to discover it and hence after seeing few of the most visited parts of it,we directly hopped on to the Jewel house which started with the video display of the precious jewels and ended with their real displays..i was so amazed to see the Kohinoor in the queen's crown that i went round twice to see the same.I wish we can get it back to Inida someday.!!.Ah...difficult.!!Besides the immesely precious jewels from different parts of the world,my eyes also got stuck on the crown from India..it was really really beautiful.

We had our lunch,luckily availed veg-sandwich with diet coke and ofcourse the helpful cupanoodles we carried with ourselves,in case we had not got better options.Then we took a river cruise from London tower to the Westminster Abbey and saw many historical and beautiful buildings throughout including london eye ,london bridge,big ben and others.And then was the most tiring part....walking....to search the next point of hop-on/hop-off...we kept walking and walked all the distance from westminster to victoria which costed us a hell lot of time and all of my energy...and say wat?..we didnot go anywhere else from there,i mean no more sight seeing..we took the tube from victoria to earls court and now sitting in the hotel.But i am still planning....planning to go out for a short walk to the streets all alone....here i go...so catch u tomorrow..

Sometimes,u really feel like talking about things to ur people,to ur friends,share ur good and bad experiences,but it doesnt work out always..rightna.!!..so i wrote it down all here and i am feeling happy that u are reading it out..thanks..

(34) FIRST DAY IN LONDON

Because of recent happenings in the family,while leaving home I was not equally excited to see London as i was sometime back.But to add to my good feel,London came as a beautiful gift.Journey started with a amusing incident at hyderabad international airport when i lyp-snced the name of one of the security personnel as HAMILTON LAL and smiled in my moustaches to be observed by himself and he too joined me by giving a loud laugh and asked me if i was observing his name.I agreed, and he told me that almost every visitor does so and he always asks his dad why he selected such name for him.Well....a good laugh..we proceeded.

Had a good flight from hyderabad to Frankfurt where there was an hour hault and then to London.Frankfurt airport was the beginning of the sights i had only seen in most hollywood and few bollywood films,FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION anywhere.I felt so pleasant to see people hugging each other,kissing and greeting with all possible feelings which we people would think abt twice even in a concealed place.Well..no comparisions intended,it was just a thought which crossed my mind.

Morning around 9,london time...we reached this beautiful city.Beautiful than i had imagined following all the movies which represented it.Our check-in time was little late and so we gave our luggage to hotel storage and went for a walk around the streets.Neatly placed colonial houses,well mended roads and traffic,and hardly any traces of pollution.We checked in the hotel little later and after having the lunch, decided to go to explore london and travelled in the tubes.We are in Earl's court,from here we took a tube to Hyde park,and walked the way to buckingham palace from there.This is the palace of UK's queen and is open to public every year only for a month of August,our good luck..this year they decided to extend the entries for even September..and the toppings on the cake was the Banquet Hall in the palace where queen throws parties for the other countries head ,it was decorated in the same fashion as it is done for them and was on Display for the first time ever in its history.Exciting..isnt it...I was very pleased to be here...as London was one of my dream destinations..The 19 state rooms and the 30 acres garden of the palace were magnificient,had a nice time there.

We moved out of the palace and headed our walk towards the London eye.Walking through the green cover on either sides of the road,we crossed the Parliament square,then the Westminter Abbey,Thames river and there comes the London Eye.Viewing London from such a height was amazing.Though the cold was killing me all the time, I was still having fun.Throughout the day, i kept calling one of my friend,whom i call bhaia and who is settled out here,to guide us and it really helped as we did not waste much of the time wondering where to go next.Thanks bhaia.Well...last destination yesterday was the Picadilly Circus,thats the name of the place..which is much often shown in our movies, a fountain in the middle and a huge halogen illumminted ad-board displayed behind it with SANYO written on it.That was a busy shopping area adjjoined with the OXFORD and the REGENT street.Well...by then ..i was dead tired...i was just htinking...how much these people out here do walk...they keep on walking,walking....great stemina.

We reached back to hotel around 9.30 in the evening.When we were crossing the road nearest to our hotel,i observed a wonderful thing.Light for the pedestrains had turn red and that for the vehicles green.But still, no car moved and neither did they filled atmosphere with ear screeching horns,a long queue of cars waited until a very old man who i believe had not seen the signal turning red, was crossing the road with the help of the chair-form-holder and taking the baby-steps with eyes tucked into the road.A man ran to his help and until he had made him cross the road taking almost a minute,none of the cars moved.So helpful...isnt it.

Hmm...so today we are going to some other places..wl let u know in th evening.I am really having fun...but only one thing is pinching me very badly..and that is absence of my daurling...my charvi..i wish she was with me...i called this morning to talk to her..but she was not in mood..

Will try a little later.

(33) BE NOT AFRAID OF GOOD DEEDS

We had booked our tickets under tatkal scheme. 2 days back,to come back to Hyderabad, we boarded the train from valsad,though the ticket was booked from rajkot to secunderabad being issued under tatkal.There was less space left to keep our luggage by already seated passengers. But somehow we managed to stuff our three bags in place of one. Journery started and from the third station, boarded a middle aged south Indian man with 6 numbers of luggage. Our seat numbers were 51 and 53 while his seat number was 49.No space was left out for him to set his things.He requested us to move our luggage.I told him about our already performed compromise.He then started staring the half asleep other passengers for help,who were least bothered to respond to his plea.He was feeling very helpless as half of his things were still lying at the door of the compartment.i thought of helping him and I stood up to wake those people up and asked them about the number of seats they had and number of luggage the kept under the seat.i realized two people from side seating had stuffed two big heavily loaded bags in our space besides over occupying their underseats and other available.This man(seat 49) did not understand gujarati and those people whom I requested were comfortable with only gujarati.They became bit adamant and took a kind of tiff with me over the matter of shifting out their stuff.I fought equally with them beyond my husband’s dislike about my quarrelling for a stranger.While I fought and succeded,this man simply kept quiet and thanked me when all his luggage were kept in place.
After sometime, we realized that both our confirmed seats were given to the RAC people as we had not boarded from Rajkot and hence assuming us to be not traveling ,the TTE did so.Before we could sort some explanation from him , he came shouting on us and asked us to leave the seats as he had already got some good gyaan against us by the RAC man who was supposed to get our seat and who was amongst those supporting those two adamant luggage fighters. Perhaps, there was some technical error in ticket issuing due to which we landed in that soup.I requested the other TTE to do something, or issue us new tickets or atleast give us one seat so that we could make Charvi sleep on that, but my pleading went in vain.Atlast, we decided to get down at kalian and take another train, which according to the enquiry we got done on phone by our friend, had 80 seats availability. While we were freezing on this decision,this man(seat 49) gave us a help proposal.He said, if we had no problem, he could exchange his seat with some side berth seater and all three of us could sit there and spent the night.Though we hesistated initially, later accepted the proposal as only that choice could land us Hyderabad in time and hence we could be there to receive my in laws who were already on there way to us.
Later, when TTE changed from Vaashi, I again enquired with the new one, who told me that one of our seats was still available.We exchanged it with the side berth seater and thanked that man(seat 49) for his help.We also managed to get one more seat in sometime and came back home without further problems.
Dheeraj told me that he was badly annoyed when I was quarreling for some stranger, but later when the same stranger offered to sacrifice his sleep and comfort for us, he realized that good deeds are paid back..

(32) MY GRANDFATHER

Idea of writing about my grandfather crossed my mind several times in recent months. I managed to postpone it with good reasons always…like-i will take out quality time to do justice to my feelings about him, like-let him feel little better with his health, like- let him come back home from the repetitive long term admissions to hospital with short term home-staying, like –recent one,my laptop not in working condition for such a long time,like- the latest, my curiosity about the issuance and non-issuance of UK visa so that I could push off along with Dheeraj ….and such reasons kept me from writing about him. Perhaps…it was destined. I had to write about him using the word..WAS..

5th Sep,Teacher’s day and I was all sure to write about everyone who taught me wonderful lessons ,though being or not, my official teachers. Morning 10.30, I received call from my mom informing my grandfather’s demise. Though expected owing to his extended illness over years, that news shook me down all the more listening to my mom’s dazed voice, who was left with the job of informing everyone , my father and grand mother being in the hospital doing formalities to get my Dadaji’s body back home. The least I could do at the earliest to help my mom was to inform other relatives on her behalf and I offered the suggestion to her, not knowing how dire that task could be.More people I called, more sadness I gathered and could not wait to rush home at the earliest. Dheeraj checked all possible transportation means which could facilitate me to see my dadaji for the last time, but my hard luck, the earliest Hyderabad-Mumbai flight was late in the evening which could take me to valsad not any early before midnight and ofcourse no train either could take me there that fast. Disappointed, I took the afternoon train to Mumbai alongwith Dheeraj and Charvi.
Throughout the journey..memories of time spent with my grandpa kept flashing through my mind and tears pouring through my eyes.My grandfather…my father’s father..a simple man with minimal requirements, few rules, good values and hard working spirit. He walked like Rajdhani and we could never match his pace except with running. Whenever on off-duty, he would drop us school, sometimes pick us up back,and of course after he got retired from his government Railways job, he brought us fresh hot food for lunch, from home to school during recess timings. He taught us good manners, he scolded us for wrong deeds.Being kids, we always unliked him for his loud snoring during sleep and his habit of insisting us to eat green vegetables.We never saw him tired or exhausted unless until, seven years back when he slipped on a sticky surface and got fracture in his knee.One small accident caused him disgust for rest of life.Gradually, he started becoming more and more weak and ineffective. Became more dependable on medicines than food. During last three years, his health deteriorated and he became completely bed-ridden. My grandma and my parents devoted their entire schedule and time towards taking care of him. Eventually, he lost partial movements, proper speech and bit of memory. His body acquired sores throughout and he was laid on the water bed for last one year.On all my visits during last three years, I found him growing more victim to his diseases. I felt so proud of my father who spent most of his time with his father helping him do his daily activities. My father would give him a bath, help him with toilet, feed him all the meal and do all this bearing the constant reluctance and annoyance of my grandpa who was completely frustrated with this stage of life.
I felt very helpless to loose a great mentor of our lives. I was dying to see him one last time but as I knew it wouldn’t be possible, I called my brother who had reached home in time, and asked him hesitatingly to take a snap of my grandpa before they take him for the last rituals.I was thinking whether I should envy my brother who could see dadaji for the last time or I should feel sorry for him and his pain to bid that sorrowful good-bye.
We reached Mumbai early next morning and went to valsad by road with our relative in his car. Earlier always,,when we went home, we would directly go to the third main entrance of the house which would lead us to Maa-Dada’s room(grandmother-grandfather’s room) , but this time, I knew I had to enter the first entrance and find myself amongst the people lamenting the same loss I was doing throughout the way. My father with a bald head sitting on the floor,my mom,aunt,grandma and many other relatives sitting on the floor- mat spreaded there. I surprised myself by not letting out a single drop of tear while hugging almost everyone present there, especially when I am the kind of emotional person who would start crying on seeing even a stranger in misery.Maybe I had done lot of crying a night before, or may be I felt my grandpa’s present everywhere in the house.
During our three day stay over there, besides being gifted with the true to life photo of the last sight of my grandpa, I came across different feelings and learnt varied lessons. I was happy to see how people respected and remembered my dadaji, but I also felt bad about the absence of some people/relatives who should and who could have been there well in time before I reached, perhaps…these are the times when you come to know who are your true relatives. I also got surprised to see those few people crying like insane on my grandpa’s demise, who had not even bothered to check out his health during last seven years or even seen him during last ten years. Well, may be this is some kind of social art or compulsion.
Nevertheless, this event brought the end to the prolonged sufferings and agony my grandfather was going through and the hardtimes other people were having to see him in pain. No doubt, this loss can never be compensated, but we have to look on the positive side of the occurrence and that is, his relief .