(98)Convened to Soul

The winds peeled of my exterior,
The words left many wounds,
The pristine walls were broken,
Some defiance yet, remained intact within me.

I grasped, I swallowed,
I walked along the flow,
I complied with the decree of involvement,
Some rancor yet, remained intact within me.

The spell unturned, season changed,
The airs of an unknown earth rushed in.
Fragrance was sedating, the aura most deliberate,
Pushed pain in my chest,
Moistened my lips, dried up my throat,
Tickled my intestine, uplifted my trust,
Blood in me confused its way.
Moved from my stone hold stature,
I began to melt slowly,
Layer by layer,
edge by edge.

I became a tree, I flared every leaf,
I stood high with pride, Unshaken, not bothered.
My flowers blossomed, I was beautiful.

I clicked the rhythm with the roots,
And moved into the wet soil,
I was enriched, smoothened, more intense, incomparable.

I melted more, I merged myself,
I began to surge deeper within,
I was losing, yet gaining.

I blended in the water, I became a river,
I drifted crest and trough, I was vigorous.
I felt the torrent, and then I was silent, a triumphant.

I bathed in the saps of my own seventh heaven,
I admired solitary amidst endless love.
I found the other part of my soul…I was entire.

I emanated afresh, every miniscule born new,
Unrestrained, pleased, I traveled back through forms,
From the river to the soil to the tree to the stone.

But this time,

There was no defiance,
No rancor,
I was a free bird,
Liberated,
Auspicious,
Euphoric.
I was a soul so complete,
To have accomplished,
The journey of searching the comrade,
And to have become,
One with it……
An undivided soul…

(97) The silent lake

I was atop a tiny hill besides the land attached to the squarely circular, deep, dark, silky-silent lake. On the opposite side, there was a small piece of land where Ana, Divi, Mira and Pramarsh were searching various ways to cross the lake and come on my side, from where they could have traded through the adjacent fields and reached the trivial village. Ana and Divi were scheduled to get married in a very old temple situated in the derelict fort of that village. They waited for a long time and then saw a wooden circular casket coming towards them flowing from their right side of the lake, which was connected to a thick jungle. They were very pleased to see the help forwarded by the nature. Meanwhile there came a pair of white swan and sat by their side, looking into their eyes requesting them to take them too across the lake.

The craft arrived, and after trying every possibility of accommodation, they understood that at a time only two people and a swan could float across in that vehicle. So Pramarsh and Mira initiated to go first with one swan, although the swan couple were not very willing to break into two. After reaching on the bank of my side, Mira pushed back the casket towards Ana-Divi. Now, they boarded it with the other swan in hand, and made a move further. Ana could make out what was on three sides of the lake, but could not see anything very obvious on the forth side. She was very curious to know and requested Divi to sail towards their left just for few minutes, so that she could explore what was there. Divi denied and reminded her that they were suppose to reach the temple before the sunset otherwise as per the temple rules, they would not be allowed to get married if it turned dark. Shunning off this remark, Ana still insisted stubbornly to go towards her left. He gave in and they turned their casket on that side. They floated ahead and were surprised to see, the otherwise so silent and mysterious lake, ending into a huge noisy water fall which was un-surmise-able from the distance they halted their move.

Ana stood up to get an idea of the depth, but her stand shook the steadiness of the vessel and it fell with the flow of the stream. Luckily they both got stuck to the feeble rope stairs which hung through the iron rods nailed deep into the end of the land under lake. Divi was closer to the lake holding onto himself with one hand on the rope stair and one hand clutching the swan safeguarding it, followed by Ana a little further. They gave a good fight to the turbulent water, but it proved difficult to come back on the calm surfaces. Divi pulled out all his energy, encircled one arm on the rope and held swan with the same, forwarded his other hand towards Ana to pull her up, and gestured her to give her hand. Before she could do that, Suri emerged out from nowhere and held her from her back, secured her and made a move to climb up. Ana and Suri had broke up sometime ago, but he was back because he could not do without Ana. Divi felt aghast to see himself as a loser, he lost the balance and fell through the unending stream to get divulge in wide waters. Ana was saved.

I could see Divi and the swan floating dead, deep down out there.

(96) Trin Trin..Hello

The Beginning…Trin, Trin…

SHE:Helloo..
HE:- Morning !
SHE:Good morning dear!!
HE:- So, what were you upto?
SHE:Nothing much,
HE:- Really !I thought u must be busy, as u always do.
SHE:Yeah, kind of
HE:- Like what?
SHE:Not much, am filing nails, surfing net, listening to music, and…
HE:- Hey hey, wait a sec, if this is not much, what would your much be?
SHE:Oh come on, u known na, am a multi tasker..
HE:- Yeah, I know, who would know this better than me?
SHE:What do u mean???
HE:- Exactly what u understood..
SHE:I did not understand anything.
HE:- Oh come on, don’t pretend.
SHE:I never pretend.
HE:- U always do..
SHE:Oh..then what do u do?
HE:- What I do?
SHE:Have you ever been yourself truly?
HE:- Yes, always..
SHE:No, never..
HE:- Please, leave it, I don’t want to get into any fight with you.
SHE:Really!!
HE:- Yes, truly, I had called you to tell something very important..
SHE:People like u also have something important to say…ha, ha, ha
HE:- Why, what’s wrong with people like me?
SHE:Leave it, u will not be able to hear it
HE:- What, tell me?
SHE:Long list baby, u won’t be able to handle it
HE:- Oh come on, if I can handle u, I can handle the world war three..
SHE:What do u meeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnn???????????
HE:- Nothing darling, just pulling your leg, u know na, am good at that.
SHE:No, u are not, I know u are serious about what u said
HE:- Thank God, at least once, u took me seriously.
SHE:What the hell?. What do u think of yourself?
HE:- Super cool fool who fell for you.
SHE:Oh yes, certainly, now u think yourself as a fool, because u chose me, right?
HE:- Right.
SHE:No, am a fool, because I agreed to be with you.
HE:- I am a bigger fool who ever proposed you?
SHE:No, I am the biggest fool, dumb-ass on this earth to have given into you.
HE:- Thank God, u agree to this.
SHE:To what?
HE:- That you are the biggest foolll…
SHE:What, what do u want to say, I mean, what u are trying to prove? tell me, right now.
HE:- Shhuuuutt up, I didn’t call to fight, why do u always end up like this?
SHE:Who?, me, I do this, do I do it all alone on myself?
HE:- No, I agree, even I do mistakes, but most of the times its you.
SHE:Again !! see again, u want to play the same blame game, why the hell do I ever listen to u? why do I even talk to you, Oh , god, what a stupid I am to entertain such a nerd.
HE:- Because you don’t have anyone else to listen to you
SHE:Don’t tell me, u know well, how many admirers I have
HE:- Why don’t u go to them then?
SHE:Bloody hell !!!, u men, you..all are the same, hypocrites!!, you male chauvinist!! don’t u know why I am with you?
HE:- Why?
SHE:Still a why!!
HE:- Ya ya , tell me, why?
SHE:U stupid, because I ……well, leave it, u would never understand, in fact, u just don’t deserve it.
HE:- Haan, haan, I don’t, but u do, right?, do u deserve my love? no u don’t.
SHE:Then why do u talk to me, why do u even call me? just hang up, shut up, get lost, go, just go away, why the hell u ever came into my life? tell me ,tell me haan!!
HE:- (In a calmer voice)Poor girl, u decide first, what do u want, do u want me to shut up, hang up, get lost or answer u why I came into ur life?
SHE: (calming down)Umm..okey, I am obliging you ( sarcasm!!) by allowing some more time, tell me , why?
HE:- Because….
SHE:Ya..go ahead
HE:- Because….
SHE:Oh fo…common, quick
HE:- So eager to know..!!!
SHE:As if I don’t know..
HE:- U know!!
SHE:Ya , I do, but u tell me.
HE:- If u know, then y should I waste my energy..
SHE:Uuuuuuu….!!!do u want to say or should I han….??
HE:- Okey, okey, alright..here I am..I was saying, because I..lo
SHE:Now please don’t say that u truly….
HE:- Yes, I truly..
SHE:No, no, u must be kidding me
HE:- Why? don’t u trust me?
SHE:No, I don’t .
HE:- Please darling, don’t start this all over again, stop making fun of me and let me say what I have been telling you ever since I saw you, let me …
SHE:Hello, helllooooo, hellllo, I can’t hear you, voice breaking sweetie, can u be a bit louder
HE:- Hello, hello, now…can u hear me..?
SHE:Ya,.ya, its better,.tell me.
HE:- I was saying..I
SHE:What?
HE:- I …
SHE:What? can’t hear..
HE:- I know u can hear me….and I love you…
SHE:Hmm…what.? .kya..? cudn’t hear properly
Can u please repeat?
HE:- Yes, 1000 times, all my life, my honor.
SHE:Do it…
HE:- What….??
SHE:Do it I said, say 1000 times, Go ahead..,Am counting
1,2…start, start be quick
HE:- Now..!!
SHE:Yes….daaarlliinng...right now.!!
HE:- I have to rush to the office baby..
SHE:I don’t care..
HE:- Please..
SHE:No.
HE:- Plleeaase
SHE:I said start..
HE:- Okkey….I………………(1,2,3,4,5……10000 times done)
SHE:Wow , u did it my love, but don’t you think, there was something missing?
HE:- What now???, I mean, what could be missing in it darling?
SHE:Did u say all that 1000 times for me?
HE:- Of course sweetheart..
SHE:Then, why didn’t you take my name at the end even for once..
HE:- Oh….did’nt I?..i mean, I didn’t, but isn’t that understood.
SHE:No,
HE:- Please
SHE:I said No, say again 1000 times, but now end with my name each time..
HE:- Some other time darling, I gotta be going
SHE:Now, now, now,now or else
HE:- Alright…alright. Then,.get ready to marry a bankrupt…
I love you(name)….., I love you(name)….

The End..(never came)

(95) Nov 18

Ten parathas, one curry
Papad roasted in hurry
Took chatni-garlic-chilli
Forgot jam, in hurry

Butter milk, full big urn
Salt packing, gave me run
Took water in the bottle
I was going to have fun

Packed things in a rush
Joy could see the gush
Left home to the loud
Smiling self in a hush

Boarded train, inside chill
Journey became happy drill
Had fun savoring them all
Few hours of enduring thrill

(94) Nov 17 Change is inevitable

Enough, enough of my philosophy on life, love, relationships, u might have got bored of it.haina!! May be, may be not. If not, am glad, if yes, never mind, u have anyways had it. But hey hey, that doesn’t mean, am not gonna deliver any emotional stuff, I will, but kabhi-kabhi. Not so often, that u just can’t handle it and have to run for the hangover aides. Alright then, what do I write. Well, I too have a funny bone to my side, but that’s known to few. Am not sure, if I can really tickle your senses to laughter with whatever I decide to write henceforth, but I can assure you, its gotto be different. What about, what ways, what manner, I don’t know at this moment. I will let that part and experiences of my life get resurfaced which gave me a real good time and laughter indeed, be it associated to me directly or been captured from other’s life by my weird habit of observing and noting it down in memory. So, in all, its gonna be of variety and fun, hope so. Fingers crossed. You know, first I thought , let me create another blog for this and try my mind out on capturing those funnier advances I come across , over there. Second thought, why not try it out here itself, after all, I know, there are at least few of my fans ( am I hallucinating !, no yaar, I know there are ..) who do read me regularly and hence why not eat their head out rather than working hard on creating a new creed of my fans( kuch zyaada ho gaya na, never mind, its always good to be optimistic). However, I still doubt if this effort will take me places, but variety is the essence of life. And once, my friend out of personal opinion, had pointed it out to me that I like variety. Wood noted the point, and the start for you. God bless all. Flash you soon..

(93) Nov 16 -Every Prayer is Answered

Hard to believe, but I read somewhere that every prayer is heard by the Almighty. What is a prayer then? Every thought, every gesture we make is observed by HIM and replied accordingly. That means, we should not let grow the negative energy which results into the bad vibrations and thereby reaching him again in some form, a prayer! And every prayer is answered, sooner or later, with the best response. Few will agree, many will not, but I don’t intend to get into this discussion over here today, save it for keeps, may be we can elaborate it later on.
So, the crux is EVERY PRAYER IS ANSWERED.
Knowingly, unknowingly, intentionally, unintentionally, willingly, unwillingly, under the influence of circumstances, owing to the mental, emotional, physical state of one, out of nature, because of habit, under pressure, and following many such lame but strong reasons we let ourselves get enslaved to the negative energies present in the surroundings and within our own quintessence. Then we suffer. And we complain to the Omnipresent for being biased and not listening to our pleas. We don’t realize, what we got was the outcome of something requested by our thoughts, done by our deeds and rightly deserved by our karmas.
Set right the thought first followed by the action and things will fall in place themselves. And if they don’t show up the way we had planned, leave them up to HIM because he has made some better plans.
The flow of negatives had been very high in my arena during last few days and the fortnight. Events shattered me and shook my mainstay, which otherwise had withstood many a big torments confronted, but this time it was worse. I gave into the series of happenings and kept falling into the dig of self pity, culpability, re-approaching myself with stricter reprimands, and admonishing the fate for everything. I tried not to exist- virtually, I did everything to escape from the reality, but it kept striking me back at every turn. I had two choices, accept it or keep running from and crossing it until I would have finally lost to it ending into worse outcomes. Most of the times, running away is the easier option, but how far I could have darted myself, it had to meet an end eventually. I accepted it, I agreed to believe that few things are beyond man’s verve and have to be left completely onto the creator, because he knows the reason best, behind choosing certain chain of events to occur in one’s life. I chose to keep flowing at my own pace, with my own set of values and beliefs, because even if I stop to exist virtually, the truth will remain as true as my life, my existence until the higher power decides to cease my breath. And hence, no more of hide and seek in name of fate, relationships, sorrows. Why not live it, face it the way it comes with more cheerful, bold and welcoming face rather than the sad, pretending, the compulsive one, because in either case it has to be led until the last breath. Why not chose to fight the odd out and search more the merrier? If not found, let it be invented through the minutest deal to the biggest barter of life.
Also, I should not forget what I always sermonize-“whatever happens, happens for good”. And above all, I have heard and been advised a very good thing so often which emphasizes on being more liberal to life and that says, “Believe in forgetting and forgiving”. - Easier said than done-, I know, this is what most of us will say, but if tried, it will certainly reap peace. I think, this is one thing which benefits two peripheries, it eases our heart off the bad feelings by forgetting and thereby sending less cursing thoughts to the other person who did damage. It unburdens our core when we forgive, leading to the state wherein we don’t want to settle any more scores for the unjust done to us. On the other hand, when we are wrong, and not pardoned even after the apologies, we should still practice the same thing, “forget and forgive”. we know we have forfeited ourselves for the offence, and forwarded penitence for the same, we should stop badgering ourselves and practice positive thinking, because every thought creates some vibration and reaches the omnipresent in a form of a request, a prayer. And hence, no negative thought should be created, cared for or sent through to avoid the depressing energies flowing further. And to aid the thought of optimism, we always have some important, unforgettable, beautiful, immortal, enthralling moments of our lives to look upon and receive good vibes from, the way they had given us when they were very much breathing and bustling with us, in us.

(92) Nov 16

आया हूँ लम्हों के लिए
देखूं की तुम कैसी हों
        अब भी मुस्कुराती हों
        या आँखें सुजाये बैठी हों


क्या अब भी बातें करती हों
बेवजाह सारी दुनिया से
        या मेरी आवाज़ सुनने को
        कान लगाये बैठी हों


आईने से मुह मोड़ लिया
या अब भी सजती सवरती हों
        आकर तुम्हे एक नज़र देखू
        क्या आस लगाये बैठी हों


भूल गयी हों तुम मुझको
की हूँ मैं तुम्हारे खयालो मैं
        मिल जाऊ मैं फिर से शायद
        क्या सांस लगाए बैठी हों


बावरी हों अरी,तुम ना जानो
मैं आज़ाद परिंदा हूँ
        आऊंगा ना फिर दुबारा
        क्यों ख्वाब सजाये बैठी हों

(91) Nov 13

Endless journey, how do I move
Guide me, teach me, stand by my side
The hurdles, the set backs aren’t too less
Fuel my spirit, toughen my stride

Sought my thought, kill the feel
Empty my heart, fill up my head
Brace the will, slay the whimsies
To my sentiments, give a shred

Make me walk, stop my talk
Pour into me the mettle so rave
Make me do, deeds for needy
Let me sweat until my grave

(90) Nov 11

हथेलियों मैं मुह छिपाके
उंगलियों से आँख दबाके
अन्धकार तोह ढूंड लिया
     रात कहाँ से लाओगे


बातें करके बड़ी बड़ी
बन बैठे हों संत बड़े
जब आएगी त्याग की बारी
    जस्बात कहाँ से लाओगे


दुनिया से उसे चुरा लाये
मजबूरी तुम्हारा प्यार था
वोह भी तुमसे प्यार करे
     हालात कहाँ से लाओगे


चल दिए सब छोड़ छाड़ के
औरो पर एहसान किया
खुदा बनने की कोशिश है
     औकात कहाँ से लाओगे

(89) Nov 9

Something that I had never approved of
Something that only you could have created
Something that I would have never chosen
Something that only you had the right upon
Something that I would have never asked for
Something that only you could have given
Something that broke my core
Something that eased your sore
"your absence"

(88) Nov 2

ना जुबां बोल पाए
ना समझ मैं कुछ आये
कोई कुछ कहे, मशवरा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे

पानी के बुलबुले है
या मन से बहतें आंसू
वजूद जस्बातों का अब ज़रा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे

बाहों का आलिंगन
होठों की छुअन
हर जस्बा तेरा हमें कटघरा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे

उमीदो की रुसवाई
ख़्वाबों का जनाज़ा
एतबार का होसला कुछ  डरा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे

आँखों मैं खून आया
लफ्ज़ों मैं ज़हर बरसे
तेरे दिल मैं मेरा प्यार अब मरा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे

भूलना जो तुझे चाहू
कैसे मैं भुला पाऊ
मेरी रगों मैं तेरा दर्द अब भी हरा सा लगे
जाने क्यों दिल ग़म से भरा सा लगे