(184) Nirbhaya, Damini,Amanat...

An innocent, non-guilty nirbhaya pays off the price of being an independent girl, price of taking democracy as her right to freedom, by giving away her life to the shameless and cruel act of sexually obsessed psyhcos of our so-called developing India...

May her soul find peace ...

And she died…Nirbhaya, Damini…

“Rape victim”, that is how she was addressed ample times

And the story of brave heart, ended in name of crimes.

 

Every time a woman, a girl, falls prey to rape,

I feel, am the one, who underwent that gape.

I am a helpless coward, who has been following the news,

Ever since I became a girl, and quietly expressed my rues.

 

Since my teenage days, I carried a courageous mask,

To stay safe from tormentors, was never an easy task.

 

I stood for my safeguard, whenever the need arose,

Should I not be thankful, it never went that gross..!

 

I remained an upright girl, went away in wedding cape,

And the thanks got extended, i did not counter the rape.

 

Now, I am a mother, of two beautiful- innocent girls,

Worries of their well being, tears me with the sculls.

 

Like any other woman, now I feel more vulnerable,

I live in a country, where rape is so explicable.

 

No, I haven’t lost my nerves, neither i am acting weepy,

I want my government to know, its attitude is creepy.
 

I know, you are questioning me, how come I spoke today..!

Rapes have always been there, in one or the other way

 

I always wanted to speak, scream and shout aloud,

My spineless stance of life , left me with silent pout.

 

Even this time too, my anguish fuelled my thoughts,

And like always, I gave up, my words to form the clots.

 

But today…I feel ashamed and insecure all the more,

Death of a naïve girl, has put my soul to pour.

 

I don’t know, what is going to be the future of this nation,

When will my country’s government, come back from vacation???...

 

How i wish, i could punish those perverts with my own hands. how i wish i could chop off all such obssessed people with the same weapons they use against women to trash them away after using them off.How i wish, i lived in a safer place than this. How i wish my daughters were to grow up in more secured environment.How i wish that there would be newspapers and newchannels without the rape headlines....

There has to be made, more stringent laws to punish such animals in masks of humans..

 

 

 

 

(183) My brother's wedding

A huge family gahtering.Loads of fun, dance, songs, teasings and lots and lots of work. Had a great time back home during my brothers wedding on 7th dec12. It was very fulfilling to have put so much effort for completing wedding's preparations. I shopped for him, with him, freezed so many important decisions regarding the arrangements and stood by my parents when they needed. Infact, everyone of our close family, siblings, their partners, all were very supportive throughout. Except for two-three spoil sports's tantrum drama(whom we handled in the way best suited to them), all the occassions turned out well.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

             It began with Grah Shanti, Mandap Sthapna, then Janoi(a ritual for the groom to start wearing the sacred thread- to be worn by brahmins), Haldi(applying haldi and Oil to the groom)then came Tilak(where my parents gave a reception sort to Valsad people and bride's  family).Next day was Bhaat(my mom's brother giving gifts to groom and family), Chaak-( i dont know exact importance of this ritual but all the ladies went to the potter to bring earthen pots, singing and dancing on the band all through the way) and then Ladies Sangeet. On the  D-day,morning began with Nikaasi(groom riding the horse to the temple) and finally Baraat to the bride's town to get married and get her home.Detailed line out will be given later on...for now..few clicks from the wedding. And yes, i danced and danced to the content of my heart....welcome to the new member in our family...

These are few of the clips i had...rest will be uploaded once i receive them...

(182)WHY

Oh..!! you believe in miracles..!
I am sorry,"I don't".
And if you say, you are the Lord,
Believe in it either, "Sorry I won't".

Density of the blood running in you,
Is not enough thick to keep you mum.
The space between your bones and flesh,
Is it full of me, that makes you numb?

Beyond the cerebral fences all here,
I know, you stroll in the green when alone.
Trust me, the times we breathed together,
Were worthy heaven, don't miss and mourn.

It rains not, just to make wet all around,
It is also to pacify the heat of agonies.
Stretch your hand,feel the fall on your palm,
See, how I have dropped all the water with ease.

No one was born to live without a reason,
We have purposes to fulfill, before the good-bye.
What is, that we did not get enough to love,
Is it so important, to always ask a 'Why'?

(181)Review-Jab tak hai jaan

Charvi and I watched the movie-"Jab tak hai Jaan",last to last Sunday.
Well....it was not upto the expectation..but we enjoyed the songs and the nature captured beautifully.For me it was treat watching Shahrukh Khan on the big screen after a long long time.So was worth it.

(180)Jab tak hai jaan

Hope you all had a bright and safe Diwali....

Can't wait to see Shahrukh again on the silver screen.Trailors and the promotions of the movie"Jab tak hai jaan" are so calling and convincing that I have decided, after a long hiatus, this time i am gonna make it to the movie plex. Charvi and I will trip on the weekend plan and watch the movie. Nishka is a big job if she has to be taken along and hence she better be staying home with her dad.
           Those who have seen the movie and liked it, am all ears. And those didn't like it,please, no reviews to be sent here.Sounds kiddish and teenage types, well..thats always gonna be the case if thats revoloving  Shahrukh Khan.

           Trailors have been tailored well, or so it seems. What a deadly combination..Shahrukh as the defence personnel..Amazing he looks..dashing, stunning , macho..iresistible.And the songs..they are simply magical. The best is "Saans main teri saans ayi to mujhe saans aayi"..and the Heer one sung by Hardeep Kaur......"mainu lae jaye mirza koi" is mesmerizing. I will be very happy if this movie does well..and even if it does not..that doesn't really make a difference...i love him anyways...There was no newspaper today..so no reviews and i do not wish to surf the net for the same.

           Hope to see him soon.....
My reviews to follow my meeting with him.
 

(179) I love my father very much

Yesterday, Charvi could not take along the animal pictures to school which she was supposed to, because of the last minute print  i tried to take and the printer showing the tough ways.Bus arrived and she left. Printer worked ok after that, and I quickly took the print outs,labelled them, put in envelope, took Nishka and ran down to the parking, pulled out the car and rushed to reach her school in time. I managed to hand over those to the security and started back again. While returning,Nishka became restless and hence managing the car with right hand and Nishka with other, i missed the balance for a split second and ...what...i also escaped the near death, could be fatal accident of that day. It was the second time i experienced such a thing, and both happened while touring to Charvi's school. Well..why i mentioned this, is because of two reasons. One-avoid driving with infants without attendant, and two- the beautiful serene morning I experienced, strongly reminded of  Pune mornings. Twice i had driven out during early hours in Pune and those were the beautiful times.
              But,the last days of Pune were not that beautiful. My father who had come to help us out in the movement, encountered a severe heart attack just before an hour of his scheduled departure with my mom from Pune.It was 7th April'12. We had already vacated the house a day before and were put up at the hotel. Doctors scared us big time[ i am using the word scared because thats what i felt when the doctors team of so called alpha chain of hospital(i do not wish to take the name) tried to take the advantage of our fears and ignorance of the medical technicalities and the delicacy of the time]. Doctors asked me take the decision within ten minutes of time, whether my father should be operated or not.His angiography had been done which reported two blockages with 60 and 80 percent each. They told me that being the closest blood relative available there and my mother being almost paralyzed by the fearful thoughts, i was supposed to give away the green for his operation. My brothers whom i talked to on the phone, told me that whatever decision i would make, would be their decision too. They entrusted my father onto Dheeraj and myself.My dilemma was neither for the hefty amount they qouted, nor regarding the capabilities of the doctors, but for the fact that- was that surgery appropriate for him then and there or should he be considered for a second opinion. Within that crucial ten minutes, we spoke to a heart surgeon through a friend and one of our relative who is a doctor himself. Both advised that most importantly -with the kind of blocakges he had and seeing that we had no home there anymore, and that it would not be feasible for him to follow up in Pune for future treatments, he should be made stable and then taken to his home town and then be operated within a months time. It was the toughest moment of my life, to see my mother dipping every moment in the abyss of worries and my father laying at the hands of those so called best doctors who tried their best to make the most (financial benefits) out of our emotions, and then to take the best decision about my father's life. I signed off the consent that my father be made stable and then releived to be sent home. Both my brothers reached Pune by next day early morning. We cancelled our tickets and all of us stayed back for next five days till the hospital declaread my father safe. My brother flew him to Ahmedabad after that, consulted other doctors and they gave my father the time of a month to make up his mind for getting operated, because he was not very willing for the same. After a month,on 14th May, he got operated in Ahmedabad. We went there and then I went to Valsad with my parents and stayed there for about a month.Thankfully everything turned out well, and he has recovered completely. But incidents like escaping the fatalities by the hairstrand chances, always reminds me of the repurcussions a wrong decision, a foul moment and the destined event can bring about in life. It revisingly points out the bittermost truth of life, that the life is not permanent, that happiness is not permanent, sorrow is not permanent.....nothing is permanent...so live every moment with the utmost honesty towards -yourself atleast.
                                         Such incidents also reminds me of the importance of those people in my life, whom I love and those who have enriched my life with their love.
                                  

(178) Love

One who gets perturbed the most,
By the fact,
That you slept hungry,
Is perhaps,
The one,
Who loves you the most..

(177) Little Ganesha

                         Writing and Reading are very close to my heart.At many occassions, i felt the strong urge to write and share what i felt, but the drive of denial always overtook the craving for writing. And at times, i did write but never considered uploading here. However yesterday, when i experienced something different and unsual which was beyond my banausic explanation, i decided to express.

                            Last year during Ganesh festival,we had ushered home Ganesha, as it was promised to Charvi a year before. My next door neighbour-friend in Pune, had helped me out to buy one idol, as I had not yet started driving then,after Nishka's birth.This year again, because of Dheeraj's usual official travelling, there remained a doubt, if we will be able to bring home Ganesha, because by now Nishka has become super hyperactive and its very difficult for me to drive with her and even Charvi cannot control her mischiefs. I was feeling little sad that Charvi may not be happy about all this.

                     It seemed my stars moved to blithe zone in last few days. One morning, when I was doing my chores with generating minimum disturbance possible, so as to not wake up the kids, i heard Nishka calling out for me.She repeatedly called "Mamma,Mamma".i went into the room and said, "yes Nishka"..she said.."mamma, laa..buuu..namu"..she meant..love you..nammi"..every morning when she wakes up..i greet her saying..love you Nishka, nammmi,namki,nam-nam, tumpa and all the other names which i address her with..Believe me...in days..this was the best morning..love explored in the flawless form.Am not sure if she even knows what she
said-means!,but her gesture was to greet me with a smile and wish, the way i do to her everyday.
               
                      And last week, on ganesh chaturthi, again as i was trying to finish my daily chores without disturbing the kids, Charvi woke up, gave a smile to me and went straight into her room. I thought, may be she wants to do drawing-coloring, because thats what she loves the most and does whenever she gets an opportunity. After about a fifteen minute or so, when i heard no noise from her room, i wondered what she was doing so silently. i went to her room to check out on her and guess what..!! Anon I was welcomed by another great and beautiful surprise of the time. she had made a fine idol of ganesha from her play dough, and all on her own.i was overwhelmed and left speechless.i was really happy, that God had made a way on his own to visit our home. I did Ganesh Sthapna with the same idol and all three of us did Puja for next five days.

                    Yesterday, as the Ganesh visarjan was scheduled by the society members for the Idol brought in the Commom Pandal, we decided to the same for our Ganesha as well.After performing the last ceremony, it was time to bid adieu to the little Ganesha.Nishka was sleeping, so I asked Charvi to look after her and meanwhile i would go and leave the idol and be back in the quickest of time. Charvi kissed her ganesha bye and I carried Ganesha in my hands to abode him in the
pandal.While i came down through the lift and was walking the distance to reach there, a gush of emotions rushed through my veins and i felt numb in the feet. I sensed  a lump in my throat and an eccentric concern of saying good-bye to a loved one,dismayed my mind.And before the tears could make their way through my eyes, i had reached the pandal,where a crowd of more than hundered people was present. i tried to control my commotion and went ahead, gently placed our ganesha amongst lots of other idols which were there, perhaps been put by other residents.I bowed down, prayed and stood up to move out.But something in me was not ready to part form the place. I again looked at our idol and this time, and this time i could not hold my tears anymore. they rolled down through my cheeks and fell on my feet. i felt a strong thrust to go and hold him back and hug him and bring him back home.leaving him was so burdensome. i apperceived as if i was letting a peice of my heart go away.i felt motherly love towards that baby ganesha and thought as if it was born of my own womb. How could i let my baby go away?..I stood crying for sometime, then wiped my face with my duppatta and quickly walked out of the pandal..every step i walked away from there, was full of nostalgia and plenary love.i came home and went back to the puja room, it seemed so empty.
                 
                   In my childhood days, my mother use to bring home ganesha every year. But never in my life i felt so strongly as i did this time.I have always tried to analyse every situation and occurence of my life. But this time, i really dont wish to scrutinise anything. why,how, what...nothing..nothing at all...
                     I have wondered many a times and i think i still wonder sometimes, that "what is love actually, though i have said "I love you" so so many times...But believe me, this time i apprehended divine love in two variant ways in last ten days...i really dont want to dig into the phenomenon to undertand its reasoning...i am utterly happy to have experienced this...and every time i think of it...my eyes still showers the rain....
                

 

                      Looking forward to welcome Ganesha next year and years to come..