But for what I have written in the header of the blog page, I owe a responsibility towards my reader to update that I am alive. Lots and lots have been missed to be told, but somehow I feel less of my heart is helping me do that. Yet, let me try and word down what all I can, leaving rest to rest in the rust pan of my mind and memories.
Long back, I had written in one post, that if I have to be blessed with another child, it should be a daughter again, with a blend of Charvi and Nishi. Someone put me a comment and wished me luck to have my wishes fulfilled. It seems, the prayer were too genuine to be turned down by the almighty himself. I gave birth to a sweet angel on 12th of July, Though, since then, I have been struggling with one or other challenge, but the bare hugs of my kids help me live again whenever I loose hope in the thing called life.
I named her Nishka, which means honest, and pure as gold. She caught jaundice immediately after her birth, took two months to get cured. She is doing good now.
I contracted infections with almost all of my teeth, the treatment showed me hell. When I learnt to cope with that, another disease visited me for a while, somehow I fought it back, only to welcome conjunctivitis. Next was the pain of raw stitches, which again took long to get cured. Then visited the worst, so called postpartum depression, which I feel is still in no mood to leave me alone. However, good things kept surfacing every now and then, to help me survive the ups and downs. My brother came to see me first from my mom’s side. Then came my parents on my birthday. I was very very glad to see my father, who came to my home for the first time ever. Then came my younger brother on Rakhi, he stayed for three days and kept the mood of the house so alive. Charvi participated in various competitions during ganesh festival which was being celebrated in the society. She won some of them. She also brought home Ganesha for three days, it was a very good feeling to have such celebration at home. Again after few days, my mom came back for a fortnight to help me out, as I was alone with the kids. I spent good time with my mother, we talked for long hours and shared old memories.
Life taught me some unforgettable lessons during this three months through various means. Some good observations and some sad notifications.
Why do we all just want to run through the life and finish it off like a race, when we all know that the destination for all of us is the very same, sooner or later, we are all goona go to the same place.
Life treats people differently:-
*One of my uncle, who was calmly seated and lost in some work, was accidentally crushed down on his legs by his friend with a mishandled vehicle. He stayed in the hospital for two months and came home with just one leg, and that too with no faults of his…he was famous for his jovial nature and ferocious dancing abilities. I spoke to him several times to give him some moral support, and every time after I hung, I realized I did that, less to support him and more to support myself and uplift my spirit, thinking that he being in such pain is so strong, why can’t I handle the roughs of the time.
*Another friend informed me about her divorce, which she was forced upon.
*Three of my friends, left India to settle abroad
*My brother bought a new car, I am so happy for him.
* Two of my cousins got engaged, one is getting married in December and another in January…I so much look forward to go to Ahmedabad to attend the Jan wedding. I hope I do.I also have three other December wedding invitations from ahmedabad, it is so tempting to get to see my city by any means.
* One day when I called my mom and asked where my father was, she said he had gone to the veterinary hospital to show the cat who was not eating her meal since three days. Next day she told me, the cat was detected with cancer and my father was very upset about the same. That cat is my father’s adorable friend and she too loves my father the same way. Also, she is Charvi’s biggest attraction to go to my mom’s place. Doctor said, she won’t live for long, I don’t know how will charvi deal with this, when she will not find her on her next visit. I know my father too will miss her, but he will keep himself busy with his dogs, visiting cows, squirrels, sparrows and alike non human living beings, serving them.
*It rained today like it had never rained this season, hefty, crazy, mad, unstoppable…!!
Believe me, somehow it was so relieving to see something go crazy like this. It seemed limitless and free. I had taken charvi to a birthday party, and it started raining while we were still there. I tried to rush back home, but could not stop myself from being laid back and enjoying the drive, splashing the heavy rains….it was terrific.. I felt so immersed and happily lost..
*A confession…Often I make up my mind to write, what I strongly feel I should pour out, but don’t know what stops me from switching on my laptop….I simply give in to the resentful mind, and sit back with the thoughts getting dried up and hence I don’t update my blog.
May be , it’s a phase too..and perhaps, will pass by, as every facet of the life has..!!
Long back, I had written in one post, that if I have to be blessed with another child, it should be a daughter again, with a blend of Charvi and Nishi. Someone put me a comment and wished me luck to have my wishes fulfilled. It seems, the prayer were too genuine to be turned down by the almighty himself. I gave birth to a sweet angel on 12th of July, Though, since then, I have been struggling with one or other challenge, but the bare hugs of my kids help me live again whenever I loose hope in the thing called life.
I named her Nishka, which means honest, and pure as gold. She caught jaundice immediately after her birth, took two months to get cured. She is doing good now.
I contracted infections with almost all of my teeth, the treatment showed me hell. When I learnt to cope with that, another disease visited me for a while, somehow I fought it back, only to welcome conjunctivitis. Next was the pain of raw stitches, which again took long to get cured. Then visited the worst, so called postpartum depression, which I feel is still in no mood to leave me alone. However, good things kept surfacing every now and then, to help me survive the ups and downs. My brother came to see me first from my mom’s side. Then came my parents on my birthday. I was very very glad to see my father, who came to my home for the first time ever. Then came my younger brother on Rakhi, he stayed for three days and kept the mood of the house so alive. Charvi participated in various competitions during ganesh festival which was being celebrated in the society. She won some of them. She also brought home Ganesha for three days, it was a very good feeling to have such celebration at home. Again after few days, my mom came back for a fortnight to help me out, as I was alone with the kids. I spent good time with my mother, we talked for long hours and shared old memories.
Life taught me some unforgettable lessons during this three months through various means. Some good observations and some sad notifications.
Why do we all just want to run through the life and finish it off like a race, when we all know that the destination for all of us is the very same, sooner or later, we are all goona go to the same place.
Life treats people differently:-
*One of my uncle, who was calmly seated and lost in some work, was accidentally crushed down on his legs by his friend with a mishandled vehicle. He stayed in the hospital for two months and came home with just one leg, and that too with no faults of his…he was famous for his jovial nature and ferocious dancing abilities. I spoke to him several times to give him some moral support, and every time after I hung, I realized I did that, less to support him and more to support myself and uplift my spirit, thinking that he being in such pain is so strong, why can’t I handle the roughs of the time.
*Another friend informed me about her divorce, which she was forced upon.
*Three of my friends, left India to settle abroad
*My brother bought a new car, I am so happy for him.
* Two of my cousins got engaged, one is getting married in December and another in January…I so much look forward to go to Ahmedabad to attend the Jan wedding. I hope I do.I also have three other December wedding invitations from ahmedabad, it is so tempting to get to see my city by any means.
* One day when I called my mom and asked where my father was, she said he had gone to the veterinary hospital to show the cat who was not eating her meal since three days. Next day she told me, the cat was detected with cancer and my father was very upset about the same. That cat is my father’s adorable friend and she too loves my father the same way. Also, she is Charvi’s biggest attraction to go to my mom’s place. Doctor said, she won’t live for long, I don’t know how will charvi deal with this, when she will not find her on her next visit. I know my father too will miss her, but he will keep himself busy with his dogs, visiting cows, squirrels, sparrows and alike non human living beings, serving them.
*It rained today like it had never rained this season, hefty, crazy, mad, unstoppable…!!
Believe me, somehow it was so relieving to see something go crazy like this. It seemed limitless and free. I had taken charvi to a birthday party, and it started raining while we were still there. I tried to rush back home, but could not stop myself from being laid back and enjoying the drive, splashing the heavy rains….it was terrific.. I felt so immersed and happily lost..
*A confession…Often I make up my mind to write, what I strongly feel I should pour out, but don’t know what stops me from switching on my laptop….I simply give in to the resentful mind, and sit back with the thoughts getting dried up and hence I don’t update my blog.
May be , it’s a phase too..and perhaps, will pass by, as every facet of the life has..!!
