(127)No answers

eight long fingers
two little eyes
four hid one
four hid the other
the black inside with few drops of whites
gradually became the jungle of dark
and i was the tiny little particle
floating
flying
falling
shaken and troubled to see the value of my existence as the minutest drop of nothing,
        struggling to survive the unending universe and trying to prove...prove..

prove what?
to whom?
and how?
and most importantly why?

No answers.

Funny!!..isnt it
yeah..it is..it is.

this is how it is, i am nothing and i am nobody when weighed against this large universe...
but interestingly the same dark behind the closed eyes made me feel i am everything and everybody, when I agreed to surrender and stop the fight for searching the answer to the querry and value of my existence...

(126)...Feelings

it has to be lived, simply lived at times.not to calculate, evaluate and act. rather just breathe in with full faith  and hope as if it was the first and breathe out with full content as if it was the last...

(125) bits

it is difficult to move on from the things you are attached, take anything for that matter.be it your school, your city, your belongings or your people.ten years back, i sat with my collection of cards, gifts, written notes, diaries and things of that sorts gathered throughout the life till then, and after few hours i discarded all of them. even today, i feel bad when i think about that but then at times it is reliving and convenient to get rid of those things you are attached to or rather you aim to save for life.
               two days back, i tore many of the gathered old papers, cuttings, saved memoirs, withheld hall tickects of all the exams i attended in my life and discarded all of them..in a way it made me feel lesser rich of my own heritage but parallely i sensed some kind of serenity and felt untangled, more spacious in my own guardings..weird are the ways of human and so are those of that great instructor omnipresent..good night

(124) Am jealous

i am jealous
i am uncomfortable
i am withered
i dont see peace coming in any form
i am restless
i am so much unsettled about the unknowns
i am disturbed
i dont agree to accept this
i am deprived
i am losing
i am jealous