Not always the calmer side of one being comes to rescue, when the other,( the prominent one in action majorly) which fortunately or unfortunately is not so calmer side, accelerates the drive through the course of daily life.
I too, most often, come across the same messed up puddles- comprising of self pities, self denials, self approavls, self agonies, self supports and self criticisms, topped up with the similar sprays and shades contributed by people around.
Not holding a pen and a paper, neither the handy ipad sorts of gadgests which may hand out some ease, I keep encryprting my thoughts, feelings and experiences on the forum of my mind. And eventually move, edit and ultimately erase them, as and when required by the data/space management team of my mind. But...there always remains some cookies left behind, which are uneraseable, and those act like the very ones, which may only create turbulences to the entire set up and system, whenever they are attempted to deal with.
Wherein others need the intervention, I act the best of the manager to sort out the not so easy, tricky tangles of circumstances, but somehow, majorly gets troubled up, when it is the issue revolving around myself and my qualms with my expectations from those times. Wrong or right, just or bias, ethical or non-moral, such and many other dyads pulls me apart from either ends,and leave me in worse quandry. Ofcourse, the end result, always have- been framed out to be the one which fits and suits the entire bill,( never mind if it may or may not have been in my accord of wishes) and it serves with the array of beneficial options to almost everyone involved. The question is, why, why does the heart have to pay the price of the choices made by the mind. Although, as claimed, mind most often choses the "best for all" candy from the jar, yet..yet the trauma surfaces of being loaded with maximum compromises and sacrifices. No other but the heart claims so....
Who is the heart then?..Me OR my self intriguing delimmas OR the supressed lot of emotions which have been sacked and thrown at the order of the so called intelligent mind?
(We will continue the talk...later for sure)
I too, most often, come across the same messed up puddles- comprising of self pities, self denials, self approavls, self agonies, self supports and self criticisms, topped up with the similar sprays and shades contributed by people around.
Not holding a pen and a paper, neither the handy ipad sorts of gadgests which may hand out some ease, I keep encryprting my thoughts, feelings and experiences on the forum of my mind. And eventually move, edit and ultimately erase them, as and when required by the data/space management team of my mind. But...there always remains some cookies left behind, which are uneraseable, and those act like the very ones, which may only create turbulences to the entire set up and system, whenever they are attempted to deal with.
Wherein others need the intervention, I act the best of the manager to sort out the not so easy, tricky tangles of circumstances, but somehow, majorly gets troubled up, when it is the issue revolving around myself and my qualms with my expectations from those times. Wrong or right, just or bias, ethical or non-moral, such and many other dyads pulls me apart from either ends,and leave me in worse quandry. Ofcourse, the end result, always have- been framed out to be the one which fits and suits the entire bill,( never mind if it may or may not have been in my accord of wishes) and it serves with the array of beneficial options to almost everyone involved. The question is, why, why does the heart have to pay the price of the choices made by the mind. Although, as claimed, mind most often choses the "best for all" candy from the jar, yet..yet the trauma surfaces of being loaded with maximum compromises and sacrifices. No other but the heart claims so....
Who is the heart then?..Me OR my self intriguing delimmas OR the supressed lot of emotions which have been sacked and thrown at the order of the so called intelligent mind?
(We will continue the talk...later for sure)
