(79) BRUXXELS-AMSTERDAM

Sorry friends, i could not write much about this two places, though there were few interesting things worth watching But sometimes, you just dont feel like doing anything, just feel like lying idle all the time. Probably that's the phase am swinging in right now. Well, the only good thing with me this moment, is that am back home and happy to be.So, will talk to you all a while later, not again with any boring thing.Till then,Take care

(78) PARIS

Hey, all. i dont know how many of you had read the blog i posted this morning from Paris. And those who received through other means too, i doubt if they received the full post cos it reflected a part to me then diappeared. n e ways, not bothering you again with the same thing, paraphrasing it for those who missed my boring story. as i said, though not very willing due to ill health and other reasons, i still managed to fly to `paris with Charvi where i had to wait for few hours for Dheeraj who was coming from London. and i had the longest sleep of my life after reaching the hotel. i slept at around 12 in the afternoon and woke up next day morning 7.30 Well, you know, it was not really interesting all this while except for one interesting meeting with a very cheerful girl `niharika, daughter of a brigadier who flew with me in the same flight from delhi and was going through the same torcherous long wait for more than an hour to clear the immigration. we chatted on same topic for all the while, we parted exchanging the numbers. and yes the last thing which i had mentioned was my bad behaviour of a spoil sport ruining Charvi's and Dheeraj's fun and mood. One of my very good friend had advised me once that if you will try to feel good from very within , things will appear good all around. well, i tried to do same, not very successful, but it will work, am sure.
I really didnt make much of the days in Paris, except for showing teeth on every click of the cam, grabbing a bite here and there every other while and cribing to be back home after every hour to which dheeraj really lost his cool and offered me to fly back home myself, though he changed his mind when i agreed.
We reached Brussels this afternoon and i felt quite good. Reasons-(1) trying to overrule my health and mood over the fun of two others and feel happy, and (2) brussels is really beautiful, very ethnically european, old architecture, old european streets still intact and quite moderate people. i found it much more appealing than Paris. We roamed around the nearby places, thankfully the hotel is in the heart of the city.We saw the Grand Place, the must see in brussels, its very beautiful, heart beholder. I must say, people over here stay fit more due to their constant walking they do for so long distances. my god, i get tired so soon. but i know, if i have to see places, i have to pain my feet and ache my back, or else better stay in room as i did in Paris. Chalo, will catch u back, with something interesting, i know all this was real boring,but i logged in just to tell you all my folks there, that am all alive and not yet dead as forececasted by my daughter's dream.Cya

(77) LIFE IS IMPORTANT

"A child can teach you best lessons of your life"

So casually and so often, we talk about the ending of our life. At times, we joke about it, at times we use it as a threat, sometimes we say just for the sake of fun and at times, people mean it when they say it. But, never, one of us think about the repercussions of such an outcome on the lives of other’s which are attached to ours.
It’s seriously not as easy as we take, while we give a statement of uncertainty of life owing to reasons whatsoever. I have seen people who ersatz while saying that they damn do care of life and pretend as if nothing would change around by the loss of mere more of one being.
And yes, why should I talk about others, when I do the same many a times. Often when am annoyed, I do tell my people that they would only realize my importance when I be no more. I don’t know what I really mean to explain to them, but may be I get some kind of assurance of myself being important through the gentle reactions I receive in retort. And so the story never ends. For a time, it appears in a comparison form, at times as a threat and sometimes taking the shape of the outcome of agonies I behold for the feeling of being Un-important (probably my own illusions or perhaps the situation creates the feel).
But what happened yesterday was a lesson to me. Midnight 3.30, my daughter started crying loud with her eyes still closed and calling for me. She was asking me, “ mamma, aap kyu mar gaye, mujhe aap chahiye”(why did you die mamma, I want you)”. She repeated it almost 5-7 times while I was trying to make her open her eyes and look around that her mom was very much alive and with her, for her. After sometime, she cooled down and was relaxed to see me. I wiped her tears, hugged her tight and told her that am with her and will always be, and that I will never leave her. She was fine then, but did not sleep for quite sometime. She lied down with her eyes wide open starring at the ceiling. I asked her what she was thinking. She was still traveling in her bad dream which she had gone through few minutes back. I asked her to tell me the details though I was not sure if she would be able to tell me exactly what had happened, because this was the first time she had woken up from her dream and I explained to her what a dream is like. I told her, it’s just like a movie we watch in the movie hall, the only difference is that you see this movie with your eyes closed when you are sleeping. She bought my logic and then tried to explain me the series of incidents occurred to her in the dream.
:-She told me that mamma ( I ) was driving the car, she was sitting in the front passenger seat, her grandmother was in the back seat, and suddenly I hit the car into something very huge. I started bleeding profusely from my head, face and my hands, my fingers(she specified). My head hit the steering very hard, and I lied dead over there. She was trying to wake me up, but I didn’t listen to her and laid silent dead though she was crying like mad. :-

After she had done telling her part, she paused for a moment and asked me if I would ever die and leave her alone like I did in the dream. She said she loves me very much and she needs me always near herself. She told me, “ mamma, if you will die, who will love me, who will kiss me, who will feed me food, who will buy me new toys and whom will I play with”. I was into unstoppable tears, speechless, I hugged her as tight as I could and kissed her all the more. I promised her that I will never leave her alone and will be there always loving her, caring for her and guiding her throughout her life whenever she needs me.

I know, this promise can’t be kept forever, but I would pray I should be allowed by the almighty to fulfill this promise at least till that time, by when my three year old kid grows up enough to understand that there’s not much a difference between the physical presence and the absence of the one whom you love and the one who loves you, because love is eternal and will stay forever.

One should think of others as well, while taking a bad decision ( like concluding it )about their life. It may not be important for you, but it might be the lifeline for someone else.

(76) LOST POST

While searching for something, i found this peice of writing. I dont remember when did I write this, I can only make out why I wrote this...here it is..



जब दिमाग बाकी सारे ज़रियों पर हावी हों जाता है,तब इंसान सिवाय अपने बनाये हुए दायरों के बीच भटकने के अलावा कुछ और नही कर पाता है, और इसीलिए उसे कभी कबार जीवन की सबसे जियादा अहम् चीज़ की नजदीकी का भी एहसास नही हों पाता , और अगर कोई वो बताना चाहे तब भी , इंसान उस बात से सहमति नही जुटा पाता, क्योंकि उसे ख़ुदके साथ कभी अच्छा होने की उम्मीद ही नही होती.और अंत यही की वह ख़ुद ही के मन के अन्धकार के भवर मैं खो जाता है। पर सत्य तोह फिर भी उतना ही सत्य रहता है जितना की वह बिन बताये अपने वजूद मैं सत्य होता है .जताने से , कहने से, या छुपाने से किसी भी सत्य मैं कोई बदलाव नही आता.