(134) And some hope

i hear that
which is not said
it raises the hair out of skin
my ego remains subtly very thin
i do feel what you don't say
i consider it every way
i remain yet speechless ahead
your eyes untangles thread
i owe you for thousand things
we are held by celestial rings
when i walk few steps in row
i feel you follow the flow
to the clouds, i sometimes talk
your face, in my eyes does rock
holding on good thoughts and some hope
tough times come and teach me how to cope

(133) Blank is Blissful

Blank is blissful
And so are the isllusions
You tend to forget
You forget to pretend
You pretend to believe
You believe to forgive
You forgive to accept
You accept to surrender
You surrender to survive
You survive to remember
You remember to recall
You recall to recollect
You recollect to continue
You continue to breathe
You breathe to live
You live to Love
And...You Love.... to create blank and hence forget and forgive

(132) Loss is not a loss

Losing is not a loss always. When your loss is the gain of someone you respect and care for, then the loss is worth accepting and appreciating. Nevertheless, pain does exist, but then no happiness has ever come out without churning the dearies. I always feared losses and they often devasted me. Gradually I learnt to confront them though the suffering still existed. But now, today, I somehow, feel that losing is not that bad really. And ofcourse, whether its truly a loss or not is also to be justified. On face of it , it might seem troublesome to let loose what you had held for long, and would have never given up for anything, but once you realise how serene it feels to give away your closest for someone and to someone who is important than everything else, you dont feel that empty anymore.
                          However, being human is in itself the sign of arising disconnect when deprived of the dearest behelds, but then, the greatest spiritual acheivements too are the gadgets of human minds. So, it needs time to realize and accepting nature to learn to feel content.
                         Ups and Downs are eminent to any process, be it life or a movie. Given a point of time, I may feel like securing everything and everyone I love, in an unbreakable unit, but even that would not stay for long and I would be taught the same lesson of acceptance and forgiveness, but by the other means.
                        Accepting with dignity dignifies your decisions and helps you sustain the effects of the losses. and gradually you decode how beautiful it had been to sacrifice your dearest and how meaningful and fulfilling your losses proved for everyone.

(131) Endless Journey or Pun

The train is moving
Or am I leaving you?
Its hard to understand
difference between the two.
Dark is more than dark
Eyes are open wide
Meaningless this journey
So fruitless is this ride.
Thoughts faster than the wheels
Mind travelling back to you
How many more lone journeys,
Am I not yet done through!
Halts will show some stations
Movements will give the run
What do I call this life
Endless journey or pun!

(130) Emotions

It was a day full of emotions riding on roller-coaster. Mind kept oscillating at the widest angle and with least ampathy. Though scrutinising but it was also a fulfilling day in some context. Besides mine own feelings, one thing which moved me today completely was seeing one of my friend feeling forlorn. It was her birthday today and she turned 19. But it was the first time she celebrated her birthday without her mom.
               Any amount of money, any abundance of material wealth, and any amount of achievements and comforts seems too small and petite when compared to the vast loss of the loved one, and especially when that loved one crosses all the boundaries of human relationships and leaves for the heavenly abode forever and ever.
               This friend of mine lost her mother few months ago and was feeling very lonely today. No words of mine could have comforted her to the max but I tried to make her feel some better. I hope, I was of some help to her.( to her--- Am sorry dear, i am writing about you without taking your permission, but i really feel sorry for you and I could not control my emotions and hence it came out here).
                I just want to tell everyone , please love your people the most you can today itself..because there is no tomorrow and no other time...Stop calcualting and evaluating relationships and just love them with your whole heart...its just today that they are there with you....who knows what the coming day has in store for you...Keep loving..keep helping..

(129) Truth and Lie

Hitting the hammer hard on the head, does not always calm down the demon inside. i wonder sometimes how do i keep thinking for long hours without a blink, on the same subject and on the same line. i keep questioning myself with those things, answers to which i already know. and i dont stop, i keep repeating and then i frustrate myself. but i dont change. stubborn i am.
                    lots of things wrestling in me since a few days.silly but as i said, i dont let my mind rest. out of all the weird threads of thoughts tangling themselves in my non stop evaluation machine-my mind, one particular thing kept resurfacing several times. i decided to sort it out today itself, if i do not succeed, i would be calm about having atleast attempted to do so.
                   i have always been very particular about truth and lie in my life and in majorly all the relationships surrounding it. that doesnt mean i never lied, but i can vouch for myself, i never lied to harm or cheat anyone. but many a times, people question your integrity and that irritates you, especially those whom you entrust with almost all revealations of your life book. and repetition of such allegations by those close to your heart, sometimes put you into self doubting situations. and if this repeats then you kind of start believing them of your non-integrity.
                  when thought about things in minutest of its being, i realised those with the deadly demand of your honesty are the only people who does'nt have the ability to accept your truth. Initially they pretend that they can bear your your naked truth, they appreciate your boldness, gradually they start evaluating your actions, then they develop a habit of reacting hurt and non-compliant to what you say and lastly they blame you for what you do, they reject your truthfulness in utter sense and ultimately leave you least confident to confide in them. And when you stop telling the truth, they call you liar...strange..but i have experienced this.
                    i remember when i was in class 11th, one day when i was talking to my aunt in the kitchen where she was deep immersed in thoughts and cooking simultaneously, a remark of mine on relationships made her reply sternly to me in very clear words and statement which said, " don't tell everything to the one you trust"..she meant to say , dont open up yourself to someone so much so that enables the other one to attack on your weaknesses and play with your strenghts.
                     well...this was one of the confrontations i had with myself in the very recent time..talk to you about other things later.

(128) Dairy Milk

Cadbury's Dairy Milk is my favorite chocolate. I like almost all the variants of this product. Weired though, but i never like to buy this chocolate for myself. i do it for others, but if i want to eat it, i prefer it to be gifted to me. there are so many stories in my life attached to this sweet chocolate. i remember when i was doing my engineering, my hostel room wall, the area belonging to me on that was covered with different sizes of dairy milk wrapers, alongwith shahrukh khan's posters throughout my stay over there.


I held so many wrappers over the years with me, collected from my board days, my 18th birthday celebration and many more such beautiful events. but lately i discarded them all.

So, i was saying i like to eat this chocolate more if its gifted, never mind if its bought by my own money but i love it if someone else buy it on my behalf and give it to me. the latest flavor of this chocolate to be introduced is Dairy Milk Silk. i was so tempted to taste it but was waiting for someone to gift it. and its very rare that i ask someone to do it for me.well, the wait got over last month when a friend of mine gave me the Dairy Milk Silk Raost Almond. i was so happy to receive it. but i did not eat it immediately, because there's one more face to this drama. i love to savor this creation of sweetness slowly, at leisure and preferably alone, i mean i don't really like sharing it with others except for the kids because they are sweet too.so, i was awaiting such peaceful time to come.

last week, when charvi and I went to Banglore, i kept it in my purse and when the flight took off, my wait got over. i took out the slab of dairy milk silk and enjoyed the experience bit by bit with closed eyes and the sense of chocolate melting and slipping down through my mouth. i gave Charvi another chocolate, but still she insisted to have a share from mine too, so i gave her two squares..its not square actually, its like a mount, beautiful mount which melts like sugar candy when put in the mouth.i thouroughly enjoyed the experience of having my favorite chocolate and that too gifted..


Oh sweet god, bless them all..those who make this chocolate and those who gift it to me...and also those who don't gift it to me...bless them all...