(235) Everyone is loved

Uniqueness is indivisible when it’s about  individual’s sole characteristic that stand out beyond every other trait and makes him/her most lovable and precious by many or at-least one person.

I believe every individual is blessed to have that one person in life for sure who loves without reason.

May not be possible that you become the dear most one for the very person, who remains most valued to you, but you should still learn to give worth and respect to those, for whom you are the treasured one. If you can imagine and feel the pain of not being cherished, then you can also understand the feelings of those to whom you are valuable. You may not make them all the apples of your eyes, but for sure you can learn to be courteous to their adoration.

Believe me, it’s a wonderful feeling to know that you mean a life to someone. That your smile is the cause of someone’s waking up, that your happiness is something that someone never forgets to ask for in prayers, that your worries makes someone cry, that your sadness darkens someone’s day, and that your beating heart is the very reason for someone’s heart to keep beating.

And I can never be any less thankful to the almighty for sending so much of love in my life through various reasons and people, wrapped in delightful bonds and labeled with different relationships.

(234) Oh yes..! I am good!

Perhaps the lengthiest post! Not sure about it though..but definitely needs a good time of yours, so read when you can read it till the end. Scroll down and decide the time when you would want to read!

This post has been in tow since first week of July. And it kept altering its structure in my mind with every new incident adding up in days that followed, and somehow each fitted well in the context that this post contained. Well, this led to change the post entirely in the end result, although the idea behind writing it up remained unbothered. Yes, I am actually confused what to start with, so many things rushing through mind and only two hands not able to accommodate them through the keyboard. Hope I do not miss out anything, as I hardly go back and edit the posts. Only when I read them after shooting, I often realize the missing links, but lazy me..don’t edit them ahead.

Alright, here we go…

Though people say it’s not good to live life according to other’s opinions and it best be lived by our own good judgment, we often find ourselves trapped in the ambush of the believes and views of others about us and tend to look at ourselves through their eyes, and not always but often we accept that very image of ourselves to be true. And for that matter it stands true, regardless of the opinion being negative or positive. The influence remains so strong on our minds, that we cease to look at ourselves in other light and gradually we stamp that very image of ours as the irrevocable one. If it’s positive, we carry a danger of being one swollen with pride if not kept checked, and if it’s negative, we run with a risk of falling in the dismal pit of unenthusiastic living and contrite attitude towards self and others.

So, either ways, it doesn’t do much of good to be too reliant on other’s views to live our lives. Listen, evaluate, and be rationale in letting other’s words impact you and your thoughts. It’s not utterly harmful to give a ear to what others have to say, but it is definitely not the best idea to be a cerebrally dead follower of other’s analysis about your own life.

I have been a person at times who, well honestly, most of the times, who gets severely crashed down by the words and thoughts that others have to say in verdict about me. And often they end up to be the people closest to my heart. Not that others don’t enjoy disorienting me, but people whom I give the access to the innermost domes of my being, have time and again satiated their self-esteem by telling me that I am not good a person that I pretend to be(and be rest assured…I never pretend). And mostly, such things happen when I fall at cross angles with such sweethearts, my loving people and because they do not find better ways to hurt me back, they try to prove me unworthy of their adoring showers. I have never ceased to love them, but of course, their views about me have nailed my soul innumerable times and my heart bleeds each time I try to pull out the rusting nails. I have no ill feelings for anyone who have ever understood me wrong or tried to verify me less good, as far as they are my loved ones. And believe me, there is no dearth of such darlings. Right from my closest family to extended, closest friends to new ones, and people very special..all have taken their turns to bring out the salty water from my eyes. And who doesn’t face similar situations in their lives! I am sure you all too would have more than at times experienced this. Difference is just this, that the altitude of impact varies from person to person depending upon his/her own attitude towards such behaviors and the level of importance he/she gives to those acting thus to them. And as you know me, emotionally weak person, I often fall victim to these strikes and harm my own image to believe it to be true. Not that I do not welcome feedback. I do it honestly and accept the constructive feedback wholeheartedly when it is coming from the revered people. The only wrong thing, I do at times is overindulging in the criticism when done, and I shun myself the harshest way, which is not healthy for the mental and emotional status.

I know, you are thinking what is she really all upto..and what is the real intent behind writing all this. I know, I kind of dragged it a bit more above, but it still seems half written. However, I am not going to print a word more about the mentioned thought and rather come to the next point.

Opinions often leave me disturbed. And when revisited in thoughts, they hurt me and raise self doubt about my kindness and righteousness.

First week of July had been quite an aggravating one and things hit me deep, to learn that I may not be a very important person for people who are important to me. Well, one night that week I happen to find my best friend from secondary school till date (Mita, who now lives in Canada) online, and we chatted for good hours. In the conversation, came up the topic of her mother’s sad and accidental death and how after putting in all the efforts I could-besides being medically unfit, could not get a last glimpse of her mom (I told you about this long back). Then she shared few links and I saw her mother’s funeral videos on you tube. I did not sleep that night, cried every minute till sun showed up. She had told me that night that she needed me the most when her mother left and I was not there. I still regret my incapability for reaching there in time. But her love for me found to be unchanged despite all those silent months we waited for each other’s words.

Next week, 10^th July, day rushed through as usual with all the things to do by self here. It was about 10 pm, after serving dinner, milk and doing up the dishes, I wanted to retire for the day. I took the phone and rested my back to check if someone had dropped in. The message in watsapp read, ‘Hi Mita”. It was from Deepti, Deepti you remember, my close friend from Pune, about whom I had written through a post in 2011. Well, a short re-intro..who was my next door neighbor and we shared our food, joys and sorrows almost every-day, and continued doing that virtually when she moved into her new home and we moved to Hyderabad-her native place. We continued meeting every time possible during her visits to Hyderabad. In 2012, her father was diagnosed with lung cancer, got treated by Asia’s best doctor(they are amongst the richest in Hyderabad, so money was never an issue),but who can challenge the destiny. After being declared safe after successfully operated, he fell victim to fate and caught the disease again. Money ran like water of their home and so did the time. Her visits to Hyderabad increased and her worries multiplied. Though now we could not meet every time she visited, but we were constantly on phone and I made sure to check on her father’s health at the interval of 10/15 days even after I moved to Moscow.

That night, when I read her message, I typed. “hi deepti” and before I could type and send my second buzz asking “how is uncle doing”..beeped in her words, “dad passed away this morning”. I erased my words and paused for some seconds thinking what to write. We chatted for few minutes, I tried to console her in best possible way and asked for her permission if I could call her. She denied saying she won’t be able to talk. I agreed and we both stopped there for that night. Being lost in thoughts for quite some time, I realized what I meant to deepti. She had her brother, sister, sister in law, husband by her side during the second big misfortune of her life(first being losing her mother to cancer some years back), and yet she wanted me to be a part of her grief. Who would otherwise message a friend miles apart on the very day of her father’s death? When we were together, she often shared her feelings of cherished joys and personal pains and I could read in her eyes always the level of affection she held for me. The feeling remained mutual. I can never forget how beautifully she surprised me with a baby shower during my second pregnancy when I was feeling very low. The way she worked so hard to make success the cradle ceremony of Nishka, overwhelms me even today. The way she made me feel important, every other occasion by introducing me as a part of her family. And indeed her message reflected the same reverence she always portrayed for me. Her pain, her loneliness, her helplessness could be felt in her words that she wrote in our exchange. I again cried that night so much so that I could hardly sleep for a minute. Her urgency to make me a part of her misery and urging through an unvoiced appeal of assertion from my side that I am with her, stamped the fact that I may not be really in the good books of some people, but I definitely am not that appalling a person that sometimes people try to prove. I am for sure a person worthy enough to reside in better corners of others heart.

Came 17^th and it was Nishka’s first day of school in Moscow. Back to back travelling kept Dheeraj away and it loaded me with added responsibilities of travelling 20 plus kilometers with two kids, getting her admission done and staying back at school to make sure she didn’t cry much the first few days. And as both kids remains dad’s pets, it becomes more difficult to handle their dad pangs every evening. And that day was no different right from the beginning. Promising her that I’ll stay right in front of her school, Charvi and I entered the park opposite to Nishka’s school. We sat there and I looked at my watch to remind my mind that it was not less than five more hours that we would start towards home. I had taken along lunch box for both of us. There came an Indian lady with three other Indian friends, all of them were mothers to kids studying in the same school. Introduction session happened and women took their way to home, except the one who had come first to me. She asked me what was I going to do next. I told her we would be sitting here waiting. She then told why would you do that when I am her? And I was like hmmm…didn’t know what to say at her confident gesture. I politely denied her offer and requested her to move on. ‘no ways’, she said and in a manner as if she was commanding me -though with love, asked me again to hurry up as she had lots of cleaning waiting at home. She rejected all my reasoning and pleadings and took me and Charvi to her house, let’s say sweet forcefully. There was one more lady who was like me and had to keep waiting for her son who too was a new admission. She too was tagged along in the same way we were. We all reached her home which was on fourth floor of the building above school. She treated us as if we were her old friends from school. She quickly made lunch for all of us and ordered me again not to open my lunch box. I did open and we all shared and ate the food. That experience again pierced my heart with her goodness and the affection she showered on me, assured me again, that good begets good. Next day too…she left me with no choice and took me home, and talked to me in a way as if she knew me from ages. The way she spoke her heart out to me only in the second meeting reminded me of the words my husband had told me only a few days ago.

One night when he came back from official dine out, the moment he entered home he said, “ you have a very magnetic personality, very charismatic, something has to do with your aura that people like you so much”. I asked him if he was alright or was the vodka doing all the talking (though he never gets drunk enough to talk admiration). He said that many were asking about you today during the dinner and I could feel from their faces that they were so very positive about you( I had met his colleagues and their families at a dinner party a  week before). Though I had not taken his words seriously that night, but when this stranger generous lady treated me with so much kindness, the hurts of not being understood by some people got medicated to an extent and I believed what he had said.

Don’t raise your brows in sarcasm and tell me, “Why the hell do you need to prove that you are good? If you are, it will show”. I know, I very well know, that your action speaks for you. But right now, I am only in mood to remind it to myself that though I may not be the best but I am good, and at times, even reactions speak for you.

That very evening I happen to meet another lady whom I was supposed to meet for a short while, and we ended up talking for 4 hours and the way she treated me and my kids, inverted my faith far from being self doubting and pessimistic. As if God was in full swing to tell me that yes, there are people who love me, care for me and it’s not always me who does that to others. I am not always at the giving end…I do stand at the receiving end too.

The same evening 17^th, Malaysian flight was shot down in Ukraine, and dheeraj being there that time, and because being known by many people of his travel, I was loaded with queries of his being safe there due to the possibilities of riots outbreak. Amongst all, there was one message which though was intended to check on him, but also included my well fare in a way that made me numb for moments and I realized once again that I am significant.

No, don’t you even think that sitting there. I am in no self boasting mode or mood. I already told that it’s just a reminder to self about self significance. And you know, someday down again, when I would feel such low (knowing me, which I am sure I would), would refer to this post again to buck up myself.

Last but definitely not the least, (too old fashioned is it!) Sorry, couldn’t find a better line. Alright, this evening when again it became tough for me to handle Nishka’s ‘I want daddy’ jingle, I felt too helpless for her more than for myself. Last night too, she cried till 12 to see daddy but could not. Well, I tried to show her some cartoon videos in my phone, when another friend of mine Nandini ( my childhood best friend from Valsad and a friend for life) put in a message asking about Dheeraj’s safe return. I told her yes he did and he is travelling to other countries right now. Then we started talking about general things here and there for quite a time. And in the chat she reminded me of a quote which I had made while giving her gyan some years back. Oh yes, am good at that. I give a lot of philosophical gyan to my friends and family. And she often turns to me to lighten up her heart in hour of gloom. And I am glad that I have always ended up the conversation only after leaving her smiling, peaceful and at times splitting up in laughter (that’s what she says). Today, she told me that she has attended three levels of KBC(kaun banega crorepati) and waiting for the third round result. I wished her luck. Then she told me that on being asked who is her inspiration, she mentioned my name. Enthralling! Isn’t it! And then she told me so many things about myself which otherwise I would never think of being associated with my life form. There will definitely be a separate post about all that we did as kids together and about our childhood days spent together. She too inspired me a lot through-out , by the ways she handled her life and family from a very tender age of 8 or so when her mother had passed away. She again remains amongst those who live in the best zones of my heart.

Now…I do not know, if that person would read me on this, but I keenly want to say the following. “you have been a great source of inspiration, motivation, reason for my interminable laughter and incessant joys, basis of my courage, and a great help in your own ways to teach me the ways of life, to make me understand the complexities of relationships and a big support in amending my bonds with Dheeraj which otherwise had seen its inescapable roughs. Though in your own rustic ways, you taught me to respect the present rather than lingering around what is gone and fantasizing about which may not come. But……………. You also have at times by your cruel methods treated me as if I was nothing but hopeless. I agree, I may err, so do you, and so do all, but that doesn’t built the base to herald me the inferior. So …..with all my due respect, I wanna say…that I may be short tempered, impatient at times, grumpy by words though very rare, sulky I know….but that doesn’t happen with every other person coming into contact. I become me only with those who become them when in my company. Regardless to say…Thank you.!"

And a big thank you to all those who in the recent days, reminded me that I have decided to remain optimistic in every situation of life, and have vowed to spread cheer till my breath beats in there…

May all live in peace…

Now don't kill me okay.....I told you,didn't I, that it's gonna be a very lengthy post...thanks for reading anyways!

(233) Life is in this moment

Life is here..life is in this moment. Over and again we hear this, seldom understand. Time itself teaches this to us through various ways and yet we seldom understand. If we did realize, we would be more into living and less into making a living. Tirelessly we labor to make a living which of-course is essential, but on the way to perform this essential errand, we somewhere lose the very purpose of doing so and that is to make us live better.

We wait for one special thing to happen. We hope, we pray, we slog, we take vows and we keep waiting. The waiting seems endless and the happening of that special thing far, but soon that happens, stays for short time and the moment passes away. We aim for yet another special thing to happen and so the waiting thing again..and so on and so forth. But when does that special thing happen. It doesn’t come in one or two particular events and occurrences, it is there wrapped in every moment irrespective to whom it belongs and that is send by god, alike the blood present in every vein of our body irrespective of its location and function. We need to recognize this very simple thing that there is nothing like the special or unique moment waiting for us..it is we who make it thus with our actions. It is our people who make it thus with their presence. It is the faith within that keeps it alive. It is the trust in almighty that it does survive. It is the acceptance, approval, forgiveness and sharing of love, kindness and aid that make it the special moment.

Let us try and live in the present moment. The one from the past can never be resumed, the one belonging to future can never be called before its due…and hence whatever we have hold onto is this very moment, wherein we can choose to do what we want. Either love it, embrace it, respect it, live in it wholeheartedly, happily, filled with gratitude for experiencing it and spreading cheer to others…OR…waste it, ruin it, disgrace it by lamenting about/affixing to the past..& or worrying about the future…Choice is yours…choice is ours.

(232) Procastination

Perhaps, procrastination works in goodwill, most of the times. However, indubitably the time comes when you need to face it head on. And that is the major moment, and that is the decisive spin which shakes the crux- only to reconcile everything that is outside, peripheral. The core yet remains unsettled.

(231) Stupidity

How stupid a person can be? Is there any scale to measure stupidity?..No, I don't think so. And frankly, I don't think I have ever been so stupid and adamant as in some matters I behave. I surprise myself the way I behave at times. Putting the thoughts of ramifications on the back burner,I just proceed to do what the deepest of my heart urges, and behold, though I most often know the outcome, I still walk ahead and meet bang on the disappointment. Idiot me, huhhhh..!! 
Someday, I 'll learn..I hope! 
But, what's the point?..
Well...
Just..forget it!

(230) Lints

We people are so particular about removing the lints from our clothes. We imply any method to get rid of them. We rub them, jiggle-joggle them, get the lint remover machine, get them dry cleaned, wash them, do whatever we can to get rid of the lints, but we do not continue to wear them on ourselves along with the clothes. If nothing works, we finally get rid of the clothes themselves, but we make sure to discontinue the association with them because they trouble us...

I wonder why?..why we don't have the same approach towards the lints that we stick around our hearts? Why do we keep nurturing them and keep troubling ourselves as well as others. Lints of feeling-aches, jealousy, hatred, ego, complexes and many more like them. Why don't we just shrug them off our hearts and mind? Clean heart, clean mind will spread more cheer around and will let less lints cling to other's hearts as well. Think about it..

(229) Forehead Kisses

Beauty of being kissed on the forehead is beyond description. I love the forehead kisses. It gives the sense of self-assurance. When kissed on the forehead, I feel I am the most important, lovable and coveted person around. Adore being showered thus touches my soul. My eyes ceases to remain open and the lids shuts involuntarily ,as if they want to enclose the intact feel in themselves and keep it there forever and ever. They get filled with water of gratification and salt of entreat and yet they want nothing but to remain closed. My breath and the blood flow streamlines in co-ordination and forms a  melody only i can hear. My heart feels calm, settled, fulfilled and loved. That moment I feel like a child being loved unconditionally and being accepted as she is. No judgment, no queries, no blame game, no liabilities, no heart aches, no ill feelings, no ego, no  detestation, no if , but, why and so…it is pure acceptance, pure reception and pure love. Forehead kiss forms an embrace around my aura and hold close it, in a way most innocent and cosseted. Without arms around, I feel wrapped and secured from all worries. I end to anticipate any more from life and conclude within the entire world of joy and affection. I love the forehead kisses , I love being kissed on the forehead.

(228) Negative people

 I pity negative people. For whatever reason they act so negative about things, I really feel sad for them when others try to help them out by positive input and yet they stick to their pessimistic approach towards life. To be very precise, if I have to give the number there are at least four people in our extended families from either sides (mine and my husband’s family) , who are so very depressing human beings that at times I feel like going straight right into their face and tell them, “ see you are not helping anyone by being what you are, and adding to worse you are only leaving bad influence and dirty impact on others around you, besides torturing your own soul”…but gory limitations of the relationships! Alas! I simply have to ignore them, and am being specific, just ignore because I cannot avoid them.

I often tell Dheeraj when discussing about those people, that they need some help. How I wish I could be of some help to them. Recently, a person created so much mess during a family gathering that she pestered my mom to the tears. And when she had nothing else to fight about she dragged me in, (when I was already thousands of miles away here in Moscow) and told my mom that I did not inform her by personal call about my departure. God…I got so pissed off when I got to know about the same and could not help but intervene. It boils my blood when anyone tries and mess up with my parents or say a single word against them, to them or cause them any hurt by any means. My parents are so simple people that whole life they have practiced patience, tolerance and forgiveness and have always been helpful to others. I have tried to imbibe the same in me and do practice to a level, but not at all when it’s the question of my parent’s respect. With no fault of hers she heard all the nonsense just because the other person is a relative. Crap I say !!!

I called her (not my mom..but her..do not want to mention the relation)….and very nicely explained her  what mess she was creating without any reason and that no one is supposed to bother my mom for any reason whatsoever. Even I was welcomed by her, with lots of sarcasm and agony, but I gave across the message crisp and clear.

How far and for how many can this be done. Earlier in my brother’s wedding, chaos happened because of one aunt, and such things keep occurring on and off. Forget about people in families, I have faced and come across similar kind of people throughout at different stages and places in life till now. Some ditched and bitched after being friends, some got along just for selfish interests and some with whom I was never related in anyways, yet twisted and screwed ties with me just to satiate their negative egos and hurt me back. Hell with them.

At times, my wrath asks me to cut all bonds with such people, and at times it tells me to be patient and be helpful to them. To teach them peace, show them optimism and make them affirmative. Tough task though, hope I continue being constructive about life, people and bonds with them.

Keeping the fingers crossed that no one creates any hassle during my younger brother’s wedding. Cause if am there, and someone comes to thwart, I doubt I’ll be nicer anymore…sometimes you need to put your foot down and shout…enough is enough!!

(227) Run through..Jan-June 2014

I hate doing that…running in a jiffy through the thoughts I want to share in detail. But after every long gap of not being here, I do the same. Don’t I? and that kills the  very soul of the feelings I had experienced while those events occurred and hence it gets printed her very dried up too. Every time this happens, I promise myself that next time..am gonna make it a  point to keep awake and jot down the important things that very night, but I again miss doing that due to so many daily commitments to life and family. And gradually, most of my thoughts either die slow death or gets forgotten by my so forgetful mind. I sat now, with a frame of mind to write every bit of things happened in last six months..but alas …my mind is too tired to recall them in series of occurrence and vocabulary giving it up to present what comes to the fore…….Still..for my own selfish motive(which I keep reiterating that I wanna keep record of these days to read when I and my memory grow old), I will again run through the events without any particular order of occurrence.

Alright….

1. · Ushered in the new years with neighbors and friends in hyderabad..thanks to Monica and Vikas(our neighbor and friend), Nandini and Hanish(other friends family)..who made it so lively that night, we were all up almost till the early morning hours.
2. ·   6^th March, things got packed and moved out of our Hyderabad home…all our friends had extended their love by asking us to stay with them that night, but I wanted to stay in that house itself, monica gave us the bedding ,water and all that we needed. Nishka was the most upset that we emptied the house, she didn’t wanted to sleep anywhere else but there, hence we stayed there. With a very heavy heart, I handed over the keys to the house owner next morning. It was Dheeraj’s last working day in Hyderabad. He left for office and me and my kids spent time with Monica and her family. Dheeraj came in the evening, picked us up..it was a very tear-filled goodbye..Khyati(monica’s elder daughter) gave me a tight hug one last time before I sat in the car, I hadn’t received that tight hug in years from anyone but nishka….We went straight to Sai mandir one last time (which was near our home and we went there every week) and then to Abhishek’s house(other friend family). Nupur and Abhishek and their kids, we all were awake till late night. Next day I left for Ahmedabad with my kids and Dheeraj flew to Mumbai….Beautiful people, friends, memories and a lovely place to live(Aparna Sarovar in Hyderabad) was left far behind…but carried along in all of our minds. Till date, every few days, Nishka asks us why we left our home in Aparna Sarovar…For her, that’s the place where all her childhood memories of till now belongs to….But the good thing is that after reaching here, we talk and see Monica and her family through viber and facetime and feel good to see them(thanks to the technology)…
3. · Though we had sold one car and a big chunk of our furniture before moving out of Hyderabad, there was still lot of stuff that needed to be tactically fitted in Ahmedabad’s house which was comparatively small. My brother’s friend would often drop in with her backpack and stay back to help me set house. Sometimes her sister and other girls too would join her. Though tiring most of the times, but the entire tenure of two months in Ahmedabad was awesome. However, I took two breaks in between to travel to Valsad and Udaipur respectively, which again filled my days with love and blessings as everyone was bidding us good bye before we had to move to Moscow. Few places in Udaipur always mesmerize me and do the recalling job and fill my heart with reminiscences. Back in Ahmedabad,  I met 7 old friends of mine after years, they were my schoolmates, college-mates, colleagues. Met so many other relatives and felt good to meet them at ease. Got to spend good time with my Research Guide Anamika mam. Nice lady she is, very intellectual and equally down to earth. Also got a chance to take a seven day library membership of IIM Ahmedabad. What an enriching experience it was to visit that place, sit amongst scholars and do the research work, hope the data collection I did in those days add up to my research work positively. Ate Pani puri to my heart’s content, though it is never enough for me, frequented Café coffe day like a second home and relished my Devil’s own and Kappi Nirvana numerous times. Well, then came the time for Dheeraj to fly, he flew on 1^st april to Moscow…and came back a month later to take us all along.
4. · Gathered sweet sour memories, enjoyed living in Ahmedabad and this time in my own home and not at mama’s house, so it was all the more fun. Thanks to all my friends , my brothers friends who came over at our place and made it lively time and again…Also a big thanks to them to tag me along in their fun toli for Holi, manek chowk night out, long drives, movies….and the hullad masti that I had long forgotten and left far behind…..
5. ·  9^th   May’2014, our marriage completed nine years…and on the same night we flew out of India. With a very heavy heart but of course hopes for a positive move, I waived a bye to all..my mother’s eyes were filled with tears but she held them back until we left her sight. Then I got to know from my brother that she cried.
6. · 10^th may 2014, we were in Moscow. For quite a many days, I felt disoriented and lost, but as soon as task started hitting my efficiency, I got more involved in setting up the house and moving around in the nearby places…things have comparatively settled down. Thankfully we have found few good Indian friends in Dheeraj’s colleagues and family. Hope to see kids settle down in school as soon as the vacation gets over here….and hope to have a peaceful stay in Moscow till the time we dwell here.
7.  And keeping the fingers crossed..i hope to achieve all that I have worked for and working for.

I know..it sounded too unfounded….however..i am glad I wrote this after all and before I could forget all this..because I am sure there still remains things unsaid but not unimportant…see you

(226) Live in the moment

We don't actually live the day we get hands on, instead we keep planning for the days to come...
and those days..the days to come...they never do come..because we still keep routing for them..and we never really live the life we are meant to live..live it in the very minute, very hour, very day......
Who knows what the next moment has in store for you?...or rather..there's no next moment for you...

(225) Amalgamation

To the depth of eccentricity and to the zenith of insanity, with the gusto to live till the alacrity to die…there flows the blood with piquancy of your love, in every single vein of this mortal house where resides my soul that covets to fly away and amalgamate in the very core of you..in the very soul of you..