In last two days, I received few messages from my friends
and relatives talking about their excitement to welcome me. It was quite heart
stirring to know that there are people who are equally enthused to see me as I am
to see India. Few of them read-“looking forward to welcome you, we’ll have
lotsa fun”, “can’t wait to see you”, “come soon, have a long list to do things”,
“ccd is being refurbished to Russian taste”, and other such lovely ones. But, I did a
blunder, I unwillingly hurt one friend because of my hasty reaction. I was
preoccupied with something else in my mind and blurted out reaction on him. We have
been friends for almost twelve years now and have fought many times for big
small things, but it seems this time I hurt him really bad. He and his wife
were planning a meet for me and I acted so stupid. Though I apologized, he doesn’t
seem to be in mood to forgive and forget. I was talking to Dheeraj about the
same few minutes back and he said you are too much. Seriously, am I really too
much. I don’t like hurting people, especially my loved ones and friends. I was
looking forward to having a really beautiful time in India, perhaps, I myself
envied my enthusiasm and pushed blacken the very beginning. Well, all I can say
is I am really feeling sorry about it, but relationships can never be forced. People
who really know me well, knows that I am like that. I get impatient at times, I
react on other things under impact of things else way, but I really care for my
folks and I do not like hurting or troubling anyone.
Tomorrow evening my parents in laws leave for India, and Saturday
I do with my kids. I am dead tired by now. Cleaning, packing, and meeting
people who invited mom in law for socializing. Now, I want to rest….rest for longggg!!
You know, an amazing thing happened today. While I was
cleaning the kitchen, I could hear Charvi sing a song, an English number but the
tune was akin to my life’s first favorite song. But, as I was too exhausted, I didn’t
realize at first that she was singing an English number and I was simultaneously
humming the hindi one. Later, when she started talking about it saying that her
teacher gave that song in the class to learn, and also told them that the hindi
song was the copied one and the original tune belonged to the English song, I got
to know about it. Then she said that she told her teacher that the hindi one is
her mamma’s favorite song. When I heard her saying that I was really amazed to
know that my daughter knew that which songs her mother likes and which is her
moms favorite. It moved me and I felt quite therapeutic. Oh, my girl is so grown
up now. Sharing both here..links attached.
I slept at 3 am last night, slogged throughout today and
almost drained by now. But yet I am unable to sleep. Waited for so long, so
patiently and now when it’s hardly a matter of one day, I am feeling very intolerant,
and raring to go in a jiffy. Want to see my mom right away, want to lie down in
her lap and sleep for hours together. I want to talk to her for hours, I want
to eat her hand cooked food. I simply want to be home. Can’t wait , can’t wait,
can’t wait…..fly me away!!
See you...good night..bye for now!
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